Saturday, August 9, 2008

Doing OK

Believe it or not, I'm doing okay. I still haven't shed a tear since my hair fell out. It just doesn't seem to be that big a deal. I mean, it is a big deal. Women aren't supposed to be bald! But the super sadness hasn't hit me yet. Maybe it won't come at all. It's really such a small thing when I compare it with all the tragedies it could just as easily have been. My sister came over yesterday afternoon and she said I look "cute" with my bandanna on my head. I don't know that I would go so far as to say that, exactly, but I am certainly presentable. I did take the scissors and cut back a little on the length of the hair on the exact top of my head. All the other hair has fallen out except for a little tuft, about the size of a quarter, that has managed to stay connected with my scalp and it looked stupid to have just that little bit left long when it is surrounded by a bald head. My hair on the sides, over the ears, is fine and I was thinking yesterday that if it were longer I could do a comb over. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the silly men you see who have lost the hair from the top of their head and they grow one side out really, really long and then part it just above the ear and comb it all up and over their bald head. Like that looks so natural!! Like you'll actually fool people into thinking that you have a normal amount of hair. I guess we all have to deal with things in our own way but I've just always thought the men looked worse combing their hair over like that than they would just going with the bald head. One thing, though, with me I no longer have to worry what my hair looks like. That will mean that I won't have to get up an extra hour earlier on communion Sundays to give my hair time to be washed and left to air dry. Hey, there are benefits to being bald! That's cool, right? And I don't have to worry when the wind blows. With my bandanna on, I have no fears of the wind blowing my hair all around. (Like I have hair to worry about for that matter.) Yeah, there are definite benefits to going bald.

I need to wash my car today, it's Saturday after all. The sap from the oak tree under which I park puts little specks all over my car and it's really bad on the windshield because if you turn to drive into the sun, all you can see are specks on the glass and you can't see where you're going. But if I don't park it under the oak, it has to sit out in the blazing sun all day long. So I put up with the sap. I got in and got my house pretty well picked up yesterday when my sister sent me the email advising me that she thought she'd come over for awhile and visit. That was so nice. She picked up deli sandwiches, potato salad, ambrosia, and chips so we had a great lunch and then she taught us how to play Phase 10 and we had a really good time. It's a fun card game. I plan on buying the game the next time I go to do some shopping. It just costs about $5 or $6 so it's not all that expensive. And it was a lot of fun. It's kind of interesting how each player can be on a different phase of the game yet they are all playing each other. It's much too difficult to explain so I'm not even going to try.

We've had beautiful weather all week. Hot enough to need the evaporative cooler but cool enough to not need anything more. We could still face a heatwave or two before moving into fall. But I've got my fingers crossed that the worst of summer is behind us. It is so nice in the mornings doing my quite time out on the deck. And to think it only took 5 or 6 years for us to start enjoying our deck! I usually go out in the evenings and sit out there too. It's just very pleasant out there. Too hot to sit out in the middle of the day though even though it has shade screening over the patio cover. We get nice shade but it's just too hot during the day shade or no shade.

This is short and I didn't do a devotional but I wanted to write and let all of you know I'm doing okay. I have some pictures of my bald head but I don't know how to take a pic from email and insert it into my blog so you'll just have to imagine how I look bald. I'm scheduled for a haircut in two weeks and I thought by then I should know if this is going to grow back and if it looks like it is, I will have her cut all my hair the same length and then let it grow out all together at the same time. Debra gave me reason to be optimistic that it might even grow back out with better texture and a little thicker. Deb, sorry you had to have yours shaved and I'm really sorry it had to be shaved for something as traumatic as brain surgery. Hopefully you're doing well since your surgery. See, that's what I mean about the fact that it could have been so much worse. I could have had to lose my hair because I needed brain surgery! There are so many worse things than just losing your hair. I feel ashamed for having reacted the way I did. Losing your hair is not, by any stretch of the imagination, the worst thing to happen to a woman. And I praise God that losing my hair is all there is to it in my case. Sure it's a freaky thing to just suddenly up and lose all your hair but it could just as easily be something so much worse. I praise you, Lord, that it wasn't something worse.

I'm going to say goodbye for now and get some things done so I can get my car washed before it gets too awfully much hotter. I just remembered I haven't made the bed yet! And I haven't even finished dressing!! Boy! I'm really behind. I think I'll wear a different color bandanna today. Hopefully I will be back to writing a normal blog by Monday. I hope a week is all I need to get over the initial shock of losing my hair. I think it is, I'm really quite comfortable with it. I don't even mind taking off the scarf and showing the bald head to anyone who wants to see. If anyone asks tomorrow at church I'm pretty sure I'll just pull off the scarf and let them see. It's not really so bad. It isn't. Isn't that amazing that I'm not all freaked out about it. ... now ... If this had happened to me in my 20s or 30s I would have refused to leave the house until it grew back. And I might have locked myself in my bedroom for weeks at a time. Guess there are definite benefits to aging. Until next time...


God Chaser said...

glad you are doing ok.

Robin Lambright said...

I am gld things are improving as well. You are in my prayers girlfriend!

Debra said...

Hello there!
I'm sitting here infront of this computer just crying my eyes out. It IS awful to lose your hair, no matter how it happens. I guess I'm crying because you are taking it so well, and I'm the Debra you wrote about. I am in awe of our God, who has let me use my experience to help someone I don't even know. I can't even begin to tell you how many times He has given me the chance to give Him the glory for that experience. And I sure won't tell you that I went through it with a wonderful attitude. I didn't. After the surgery and all the hospital stays, I was VERY resentful of MEN I would see that had long hair. It was SO unfair!! I remember going to stores and staring at the hair scrunchies and pretty things I couldn't use, and counting the months it would take before I could use one of them again.
I am fine now, and I'm 53- an old lady with long hair. I haven't got a gray hair yet, so maybe that's a result of the surgery too!
I'm thankful God let me live through that experience, because I should be dead. I had a blood clot that should have killed me. God had other plans.
He's got a great plan for you, too.
You're doing fine, and I just know it will grow back!
Love, Debra
PS If you can come over to my blog, I have some awards for you!

godlover said...

So nice of you to make contact again. I'm sure you took the loss of your hair better than you think you did. I, too, have had a blood clot problem. Are you taking plavix? That's what they put me on and said I would have to take it for the rest of my life. My clot lodged in my colon and I spent 9 days in ICU but ended up not having to have surgery and they were able to dissolve the clot without it breaking loose and going to my brain. As bad as I was I realize I was so blessed because, like you, mine could have killed me. They said if mine had lodged in my lung, brain, or small intestine, it would have probably been fatal. And you're not an old lady. I am the old one. I'm 61 but most days don't feel it. Unfortunately I do look it. But what can a woman do???

God bless you Debra and thank you SO much for your comments. I've really enjoyed them and hope you will keep reading my boring blog. I can't take credit for taking this the way I have. It's the Holy Spirit working in me because I always thought I'd just lock myself away until it grew out. I always thought I'd be the biggest whiner about it. I'm gonna blog and answer your comment more fully. So go back and read today's (Monday 8/11) blog if you haven't already.