Just Thinking

Another thing that the Lord has recently done in my life is that He has me tithing. It's funny how this worked out because I always gave a certain amount weekly in my church offering plate and then several months back I thought maybe I should start tithing. I felt it was time to make some kind of commitment. I thought that was the least I could do. So I figured up the 10% and discovered I was already giving 10%! So the only difference now, I guess, is that I can't go lower than what I've been giving. But I'm also giving the 10% on any money that comes my way as a gift or with the recent IRS Stimulus check. I now think of it all as God's money out of which He gives me a share. But it's funny that I was always so adamant that I was no longer under law and as such, I could give whatever I wanted to give. I never thought that I would ever "tithe." I was above tithing. lol. I always gave but I was "free" to give what I wanted. (I'm trying to explain my mindset here.) When I left the Jehovah's Witnesses and found true freedom in Christ I automatically thought "I don't have to give 10%, I'm free." And, yes, I am free but it suddenly came to me that I am just as free to give my tithe. Isn't it funny the way our minds work? And then to find out that I was already tithing was a riot to me. (I have a strange sense of humor!) I had thought I was so "spiritual" to be giving just what I wanted to give and not a penny more or a penny less. No one could tell me how much to give to my Lord, no siree! So anyway, it was funny to me how this all came about. And what have I accomplished, you ask? Not really anything except that I'm conscious of the fact that I tithe and that I have been tithing all along. A small matter that no one else would give any thought to. My mind just works in funny ways and I'm so aware of the changes I'm going experiencing as I'm being put through the sanctification process.

Isn't God simply amazing? I see Him being active in my life every single day. He's in my decision-making and in my relationships with others and with my beloved. He is so active in my life. And I've discovered (through blogging) that He's active in every body's life. That came as such a shock to me. That He is just as active in other people's lives as He is in mine. What an amazing God! This is so different from being a JW which is this incredibly dry and empty cult. A dangerous cult. Looking back I can't believe I fell for so many of Satan's lies. But it was so easy then. Just obey all the rules and everything's okay. (Or more truthfully, pretend to keep all the rules.) But there was nothing internal about those beliefs back then. It was all external and all we talked about were the different "classes" of people. There was nothing personal. There was nothing inside of me at all but fear that I'd break a rule and be rejected. There was no such thing as grace. I was always fearful of being cast out for "conduct unbecoming a Christian." Can you believe we actually called ourselves Christians? I can't. Not after experiencing what it really means to be a Christian. God is such a personal and relational God. He is so full of love for us as individuals. I think it's absolutely amazing that He heard my prayers, my longings and cravings for a real relationship with Him and He took the initiative and called me to Himself. There is no way I would ever have had the courage to leave all that error on my own. He called me out of darkness and into His unbelievable light! We have an amazing God. And I will praise Him every day of my life.

And yet another thing that God is doing in my life is that He's given me an all new appreciation for my marriage and my husband, who I call my beloved because he is. He is my very best friend and a terrific companion. We think so much alike and are interested in so many of the same things. It's almost scary. He is a baptized believer but he isn't active with church. I don't know how that works because there's no way I could avoid being active. I love being a deacon! I love so much being involved. I enjoy doing things for my church family. This coming Sunday is communion Sunday and we're also having a baptism and those fall onto my shoulders. I do communion from start to finish but I just sort of "help out" with the baptisms. I always bring all the wet robes and towels home and launder them and I help clean up the mess baptisms make. All the wet rugs and runners have to be carried outside to dry, etc. Anyway, back to my marriage. The Lord has done such a good job there totally renewing my commitment to my beloved. I actually look for things to do for him, things that I know please him. I feel fulfilled when I know he's happy. It all boils down to an emptying of self. To live sacrificially within the institution of marriage. I'm not happy unless I am busy making him happy. I love him with the deepest kind of human love and I fully believe it's meant to be this way. But do I pray for his state of non-interest in church activities. But he does go with me to small group and has been for quite a little while now. And I'm so grateful for that. God will pull him around. I know He will.

I've spent so much time blogging the last few days that I wonder if this isn't bad in some way. Maybe I need to budget my blogging time. Has anyone else had this happen and if so, how did you handle your situation? I love blogging and reading blogs because other people's blogs are so interesting and the fact that they are all faith-related blogs gives me comfort in that I'm not really wasting my time but, then again, maybe I am. I'm open for suggestions. It seems like I am either blogging or reading. Maybe I need a little balance. Last summer the Lord moved me to make mental lists of morning chores and evening chores. Well, I've kept with the evening chores but some how along the way I lost my morning chores. I think I need to go back to them. It was just 5 or 6 things that I made myself do every morning before I turned on my computer. I think I need to go back to that. How do you budget your time? How do you keep your computer time to reasonable amounts? I don't function as well without "chores" as I do with them. I tend to waste a lot of time.

My hubby wants me to go to the Post Office. And I still have so many things to do that need to be done so I think I'm going to have to get off this computer and spend some time taking care of other responsibilities. I didn't really have anything to write about anyway. It's just that I needed to say more of what the Lord is doing in my life. Some of the changes in me are so subtle and of such little consequence to anyone but me that I don't know why He bothers sometimes. But it's an act of sanctification. He is changing me into the person He wants me to become for Him. But they are critical changes to me. My "inner man" is being changed, or exchanged for the life of Christ. It's just amazing to see Him be so active and to be fully cognizant that it is Him living His life through me. And then the real topper is to see through blogging that He is just as active in everyone else's lives. What an awesome God! Sorry this has been such a nothing blog. I haven't had time to think of blogs to write because my in-depth Bible study takes so much of my time and thought processes that I don't have anything left for creating interesting blogs. But I wanted to blog so you'll know that I'm thinking of all of you and mentioning you in my prayers. I'm just blown away with how good God is! And busy!!! I still look back at the 13 years as a JW with so much regret, but I know that all was not lost because He heard my prayers while I was steeped in error and He called me out to His wonderful Truth. It's amazing.

I finish my big Bible Study on Friday of this week so maybe I can get back to writing real blogs again instead of just my ramblings. Stay close to our Savior.