Spiritual Shortsightedness

In any moment of weakness, we have the capabilities to, and run the risk of, making mistakes and errors with potentially disastrous effects and long-lasting consequences for ourselves and some times for others as well. Remember Esau? In a moment of physical need he sold his very birthright ... which gave him authority over his family and a double portion of the inheritance ... for a bowl of lentil stew, a measly cup of soup. His error was pure foolishness, but we've been in those situations ourselves, haven't we? Situations where good sense and spiritual commitment are totally undermined by our own frailty. A lot like termites of the soul.

We will do well building an effective defense system for ourselves if we recognize when and where our weaknesses lie. One rule to remember is that Satan usually strikes after waiting for us to reach our physical and emotional limits. He often reasons correctly that we will lack the spiritual resources to turn down the tantalizing treat he offers us, which is always tailor-made to fit our perceived need, if we are already functioning in a weakened state. Therefore, wise believers avoid the extreme limits we constantly face by avoiding what Charles Stanley calls H.A.L.T., becoming too hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. Letting themselves reach such extremes just opens the door for Satan's short-term, nicely disguised solutions to our problem at hand. It is much like a few other things: a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Yes, it is much like an unwise business "deal" or an unsuitable marriage partner that looks so good for the moment. We must always keep in mind that his plans for us will likely have a very high price to pay for a very long time.

Unfortunately, today many people have "sold" their spiritual birthright ... that is, God's plans and blessings for them (Jer 29:11) ... because they never stop to contemplate the long-term repercussions for a "quick-fix" solution. As believers, we should develop the good habit of questioning our decisions: What are the long-term consequences if I make this choice? How will this affect my relationship with the Lord? My boss? My family? My church? Will I be able to look myself in the face in the mirror tomorrow after making my decisions and acting on them today? If we build the habit of scrutinizing our decisions in this way, we will be less likely to succumb to Satan's tempting persuasions in our weaker moments.

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I'm late getting to my blog today and I don't even have a good reason. Just that the day got away from me. Actually I think it might be more accurate to say that my day started without me. I've been behind since I got up. I probably should have gone back to bed and tried getting up all over again. But I have my bed made, errands ran, and dinner out of the freezer. So today isn't a total loss. It was just that I looked at my watch expecting to see 10:00 and it was after 12:00 with absolutely nothing to show for the time. I don't like days like this. Stacy has a really nice blog at http://loveforliberia.blogspot.com this morning. She, her husband, and ten children moved to Liberia last year to take the light of Christ to the widows and orphans and anyone else who will listen. She has more guts and glory than I will ever have. She is just out of bed from hepatitis and Nathan (I think he's two years) is back to normal since his bout with cerebral malaria. They have really had a time of testing since moving there. But their faith is strong. I would be crying my eyes out begging to come home.

Our weather yesterday and today are very Fall-ish. Actually I guess this is the third day of Fall-ish-ness. Cool temps and the sun casting a slightly orange color to everything you look at. I think I am ready for Fall to happen. I'm tired of the heat that's for sure. But I'm not sure I am up to freezing temps either. We had almost what's called a buttermilk sky this morning when I went out on the deck for my quiet time. After I'd finished my devotionals M joined me and we just sat together out there without really talking. It was just a sweet time of togetherness. Nice.

My son came by today around noon with the news that he got fired. Poor guy. He will never find another job around here making that kind of money. They will have to sell their house and move hopefully not too far away. With the housing market the way it is, he may end up losing the house. They've had it on the market for over a year now and had only one nibble that fell through. I offered our car back to him and he sort of laughed. Like selling one car would make a dent in his mortgage. But I felt I had to offer. He may end up just having to walk away from his house. A person can do only what they can do. He made great money at the casino where he worked and it will be difficult for him to get a job and make that kind of money anywhere he looks. There's a new casino opening up in December I think over in El Dorado county and he'll of course apply there. I don't know exactly what my son did for a living, just that he's up in management and they didn't even give him a severance package. That's the pits for him. And I don't want him to move away. What will I do when I need him? What will I do if my computer goes on the blink? I don't want him to move away but I know he'll have to because there's nothing else for him in this county. But it will prove to be interesting to see what the Lord has in store for his future. This may be God calling for all I know. Please let it be God calling and please let him listen. I want him to come to the Lord so desperately. I've been praying every night for quite some time now and this just could be the answer to my prayers. We never know. But I guess it's all politics over at the casino now so he's trying to look at this as a forced retirement until he can find something else. He could use some time off anyway.

I try not to look too far ahead because I just end up worrying about something but if I stay centered on "today" I seem to do okay. Life is just such a gamble. What's behind door number one? Door number two? or Door number three??? I tell you, life sure feels like a big game sometimes, doesn't it? We never know what's going to happen from one day to the next, and that's why it is so important to stay close to the Lord. Sometimes the not knowing gets a bit difficult you know, but there's nothing we can do about it. Which is, in itself, a very good thing. Because if there were anything we could do about it, we'd probably do the wrong thing. I know I would. But Jeremiah gave us some wonderful and soothing information for times such as these: "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart'" (Jer 29:11-13). Is that true? Does God really have good plans for us to give us hope and a future? Will He really be there for us when we seek Him with all our heart? We can't really answer those questions if we haven't been put through the wringer. We can't really know that God is right there alongside us, waiting for us to seek Him with all our heart, can we? All we have are His promises written to us thousands of years ago. Do we trust Him when He promises to be found if we seek Him with all our heart? When my life is a mess, these are the Scriptures I turn to because I do believe His promises. Ours is a good God, a kind God, a loving God. A God who is faithful and true. And it's comforting to know that, when everything is topsy-turvy, there really is a "plan" and a "future" for my life. Someone has everything under control. Someone with the power to bring back Jesus Christ from the dead. Someone with the might to create this universe and all the other universes. Isn't it incredible to think of the mastermind behind all this? To think that this Person wants to be found by the likes of me. Someone who cares about what's going on in my puny little life. For "when I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?" (Ps 8:3-4). "O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!" (Ps 8:1). It always seems like verse 1 should follow verse 4 because verses 3 and 4 need a big exclamation point and verse 1 really says it all. What is it with us that the Lord would care? Why should He be concerned about us at all? I think perhaps the real question should be: What are we to do with all this? I'm dead serious here. God has given us fantastic promises concerning our life and relationship with Him and what are we going to do with that fact? For me, it's almost a "system overload." Why would God really care about little, insignificant me? Because He loves me. Because He loves you and me! Because He enjoys sharing Himself with us. Because He so desires to spend His day with us in the Garden. The Garden that was beautifully created by God and instantly ruined by Man. Anyway you look at it, Man took what was so good and turned it into filth, and God continues to care, not so much about the universes but about little-bitty us. I don't know about you but this sort of blows my mind. It is rather incongruous that these thoughts even occur in our minds, but they do. What an awesome God!

"Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out! Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been his counselor? Who has ever given to God that God should repay him? For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen" (Ro 11:33-36). What an awesome God! What an awesome God!!

I need to at least make an attempt to do my chores today. I'm not even supposed to be blogging if my chores aren't done. Ah well, it goes like this... This just isn't going to be one of those days when I get all my chores done and have that good feeling you get when you do the right things because they were the right things to do. My son's dilemma sort of cut me off there at the knees. In a way I'm glad this happened and I think he is too. He was just putting in time at the casino. He hadn't enjoyed his job for years. And the stress was slowly killing him. But he was just locked into a position where his hands were tied. He didn't really want to work there anymore but didn't have whatever it was he needed to have to leave it behind him. So this just sort of took it all out of his hands. I can't believe they didn't have a severance package for him for as long as he had worked there. Well, next time they face a crisis, they won't be calling him in in the middle of the night to solve their problems. He really will be better off if he can just downsize. Downsize big time!! But a person doesn't go from a position of such wealth to a mere blip on a computer screen without going through pains. I just hate that it will, in the short-term give him even more stress. In the long-range, if we can look that far, it will free him up to do other things. But I don't like the idea of his having to move. I don't like that at all. I guess at some point in time I have to let go of my baby son. I can't hold him that tightly forever. But after Rich killed himself, Ken was all of my family I had left. It was just sort of like "you and me against the world." He was about four years old when that song was popular. I was a single parent and that was our song. Only at that time I still had two sons. It's just he and I now (I've since let M in but part of me still feels like it's just us against the world). And the world is so big and so strong and it can roll right over you in a heartbeat.

M & I were out in the garage looking through boxes still trying to locate our cribbage board and I found a stack of CDs. Really nice instrumentals most of them. I've got one playing now and this one is "Flute by the Sea," and it is very nice. But we are still missing the cribbage board.

I suppose I should finish this up and get my animals all fed. That daily chore that never gets "done." It just seems to keep coming back, day after day. But that is the price you pay for the pleasure of having animals to love and love back. In a very distant way I can catch a glimmer of what it must be like for the Lord with us. He paid an extremely costly debt just to keep us near Him, so that we could keep coming back. When you look at us, I mean really look at us, it sort of makes you scratch your head and wonder if you were worth it. God gave us huge price tags just to keep us hanging around. He established our worth by what He paid. All I can say is He must love us a whole bunch!!! Which sort of goes without saying, I guess. I'm quiet and withdrawn today, worried about my son. Afraid that he'll end up doing what my other son did if things get too stressful for him. And I will cling to my Creator even tighter than before. While we ride out this roller-coaster called life. I want the heaviness of my heart to be lifted somewhat. I know Ken was a great employee. He's talented, smart, honest, hardworking. He's the kind of employee anyone would like to hire. They'll kick themselves in the future for letting him go. Especially since it was all politics. The new CEO and his girlfriend. You'd think that this sort of thing wouldn't go on in today's business world, that people wouldn't play politics with other people's lives. But Ken butted heads with the girlfriend and the girlfriend won. I can promise you: they will regret it. They already did a similar version of this about 8 months ago when they did away with his position and he had to step down to a lower level, only to have them call him in the middle of the night to correct a problem that no one else could figure out how to fix. They sort of reestablished his position and gave him his old job back at that time. You'd think they would learn. I'm not sure exactly what it is that he does at the casino; I just know that he makes multimillion dollar decisions there all the time. The biggest problem the casino has is lack of experience. The casino went from a bingo parlor to a multimillion dollar corporation almost overnight. They went from being a mom and pop venture to being the top employer and chief taxpayer in the county. The corporation grew but their minds never did. They've essentially created their own monster.

Well, as you can see, I've got a lot weighing me down today so I think I'll just say that's it for now. Hopefully the old monitor will continue to function but if I ever just up and quit blogging, it will be because my monitor went out completely. That's another thing I hadn't even thought about. What are we going to do when we have computer problems after he ends up moving away? We know he has to move. It's simply impossible for him to stay in this area. Hopefully he'll get hired on at the new casino in a couple months when it opens but he'll still be moving away. I won't be able to call him up and say ... "Help!" and have the luxury of a quick computer fix. So I guess I'm really looking at a change in my life too. I can replace the monitor after we get the car registered but if the computer goes on the blink, I just may not be blogging anymore. What will I do with all my time if I'm not using the computer? Maybe it will be time to dig out the old knitting needles again. Aw well, we take life as it comes at us. I never asked for a computer to start with so I guess I can learn to do without one again. Lots of food for thought today. Stay close to the Lord and I'll keep blogging until something dies on it. Until then...