Forgiving Hurts We Don't Deserve

Its amazing the way we will try to justify an angry, unforgiving heart. We may think to ourselves that the Lord knows what that person did to us and He understands how we feel. Yes, that's true, the Lord may understand, but he doesn't approve.

Because Jesus faced appalling betrayal and abandonment, He knows human emotions probably better than anyone else. But He's not in agreement with our feeling justified for our unforgiving spirit toward someone else. Hatred and an unforgiving attitude originated with those against God. No matter how many times we check the Bible we'll never find an account of a righteous man harboring an evil attitude of unforgiveness. Our Savior, on the other hand, had a God-centered view of forgiveness that originated with our righteous God. He withstood torture, shame, and cruelty and still stood tall in His forgiveness. And for this we should thank God every moment of every day because we are the ones who betray the Lord each and every day. We are the ones desperate for forgiveness. We are the ones standing outside of God's will for us. We are the ones needing amazing grace and free pardon. Praise our glorious God that He is not an avenging God seeking out reason for destruction.

We have wronged Jesus in ways no one has ever wronged us. Horrible ways. We have denied Him His rightful place in our lives and put others and inanimate "things" in His place. We've doubted His word. We've ignored His wishes completely. We've totally left Him behind and have kicked Him out of our day-to-day lives, where it matters most. We have sinned against Him and shamed Him by sinning against other people.

What, we ask ourselves, is Jesus' response to this abuse? "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest" (Matt 11:28). In the Greek that this verse was originally written in, Jesus doesn't just say "Come," He says it in a homey, beseeching way. It's like we would say, Come to me, come on, come to me. He spoke in a loving, coaxing, almost pleading way. How can we possibly even think that He will justify our unforgiveness under any circumstances?

When we look toward God to excuse our unforgiving heart, we'll hear Him answer back, "Look at the cross." There, at the foot of that instrument of torture and death we'll discover the price that was paid for our forgiveness. Then we'll understand the solemn responsibility which was spelled out for us in Colossians 3:13: We must "Forgive [just] as the Lord forgave [us]." Just as we have been forgiven, so now must we become the forgivers. Simply put, an unforgiving spirit is a sin against God.

Just a short blog today. I thought I could use the break from all of yesterday's effort. We've had a light rain so far this morning and it's very pleasant. I have no plans for today (other than laundry) and no meeting to go to, thank goodness. I'm just about meeting'ed out. I think I've had my share. A total of five I had to go to this week and I'm not really a meeting type of person. But Pastor Dan let me off the hook with the praise songs. We decided that we should just number the songs in each packet and worry about making slides out of them some other time. I was very grateful for that and said a quick, Thank You, Lord, because I had serious doubts about my ability to work a new program and create slides. So I brought all the packets home yesterday and numbered all the songs and returned them when I went back last night for the deacon's meeting. Now we just have to convince the musicians that they need to look up and give us the number each time. Last Sunday night we were all more than a little frustrated with trying to find the words so we could sing along with them. After going through the work and time of numbering all the packets, I just hope it helps.

I had a very frustrating day yesterday and came home from my meeting last night in tears. (Brought on by fatigue more than any other reason.) I was grateful that I've begun to journal lately so I had a place to deal with my feelings. Even though I was hard pressed to find the right words, I felt better after lifting the entire week's events up to the Lord and asking Him to carry the load. My hearing loss is so frustrating and it's been really bothering me now for awhile and it just all kind of pressed in on me last night. As much as I hate to cry, I must say it felt good last night. I had just had too much frustration from a very busy week and last night was simply what it took to break the camel's back. But after lifting it all up to God, I was able to get a good night's sleep last night and woke up feeling very refreshed this morning. My biggest problem is that I just want my hearing back. I'm tired of making so many mistakes because of not really hearing what was said. Doing things the wrong way. Talking to the wrong person. Doing the wrong deed. Sometimes I just feel like I'm not in sync with the rest of the world. That I'm completely out of step. Maybe I should just hope and pray for God to completely deafen me so that no one would be expecting me to hear things and to react to them in the appropriate ways. Anyway, I've left all that in the hands of the Lord and I'm going to let Him deal with it.

I got my hair cut yesterday. It had only been three weeks since my last cut but I hadn't been happy with this past haircut. It just wouldn't stay styled and needed to be washed and styled every day and I'm simply not a do-it-every-day kind of person. Not when it comes to my hair anyway. I slept on it last night and it still looks great this morning. I thought I'd rather put out the extra money for the cut now than to have to fight it 3 weeks until my next appointment. She does such a good job normally but she just hadn't cut it short enough for me. Now it's great.

I saw the flu shot schedule at Kelly's yesterday and now plan to get my shot on the 31st here at CalWorks in town. That's where I went last year. I don't want to wait too long and run the risk of getting the flu before getting my shot.

Well, this is Friday and my last blog for the week. I will pick up on unforgiveness next week and finish up that topic and then get back into faith. I enjoy writing about faith and it's so important to us. Not that unforgiveness isn't important it's just that faith is easier to write because I have a firmer grip on it and can relate to it a little better. I think I'll let this be it for the day and go watch a little of the morning's news. See what's happening in the world today. So until Monday...