Our faith is the single most important aspect of our Christian walk today. Its absence means we can't receive Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, trust God to meet our needs, or develop the spiritual fruit that is essential to our spiritual growth.
However, there's a great companion of faith that we Christians often overlook. By that, I simply mean something that should be a natural outgrowth of what we believe ... something that supports an active and mature commitment to our Lord. That "companion" is simply works.
James 2:14-18 makes this point crystal clear. While upholding the absolute central importance of faith, James challenges us to note how our beliefs play themselves out in our actions. It is not sufficient just to pray for the hurting and hungry people in our world if we have the means to help in tangible ways. Perhaps a meal for a hungry person or something of that nature to take care of immediate physical needs. The point is: our actions in the matter reveal the substance, genuineness, and purity of our faith.
Isn't this the very same example Jesus Himself set for us? Peter describes in the book of Acts the way the Lord "went about doing good" (10:38). And in Eph 2:10, Paul brought this idea even more personally to the believers in Ephesus ... and to us ... when he wrote: "For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them." The point is that we are created to be like Christ, and when He walked the face of this earth, He constantly went about doing good works.
What do our actions reveal about our faith? While we certainly can't work our way into heaven, if we believe in Jesus, we have a responsibility to be His hands in this hurting world we're in. It is imperative to understand that our salvation is not based on whether or not we do good works or whether we obey all the rules and regulations. But out of our salvation, come good works of faith. That is why to have faith without works is to have no faith at all. If our good works aren't there, then neither is the salvation from which they come.
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I'm late with my blog today because I decided that I had to get some housework done today if it killed me and so I decided that I should do the work and then blog. If I started out with my blog first thing this morning, I might not get back around to the housework so I buckled down and got half of it done. We have the kids coming over from San Francisco this weekend and I knew that something had to be done this week or I was going to be too embarrassed to invite them in. So I cleaned my hubby's bathroom first. What a chore! Not only was it three layers deep in dust and lint and hair (animal and human), but the toilet was a mess and all my little bottles of bath products were covered in at least two of those same layers. I must have 65 bottles of shower gel and lotions, there on our shelves, in every fragrance imaginable. So I took them all out and cleaned the cupboard and shelves and then washed each bottle before putting it back in it's place. It must have taken me 90 mins or two hours just to do that. But I am utterly ashamed that I let his bathroom get so bad and he never complained! I have promised myself that I won't let it happen again. It's pure neglect, irresponsibility, and laziness to let it get that bad! But I got everything cleaned in his bath except for the floor which I will do Friday when I mop and wax all the floors. Then I moved into my bath, which is the bath anyone borrows if they are visiting. And because it is used by guests and is out here in the front of the house, its dust and hair was only one layer thick. I did have a lot of hair in that bathroom. That's the bath where I shed most of my hair and even though I'd worked at keeping the loose hair in the waste basket, there were still hairs everywhere. What a mess!! So I got my bath all cleaned too except for the floor. Every thing is so sparkling and bright now. I love a clean bathroom. My bathrooms are usually the cleanest rooms in the house. But I had been just letting them go what with dealing with the disaster of losing all my hair and pure laziness, it seemed easier to let them go with a promise to do them soon. I still think it's amazing that I haven't gone into a depression over my hair ordeal! (God's grace!!) It only took me about 35 mins to get my bath glistening and sparkling. As I said, mine wasn't nearly as bad as M's bath. But then men are so messy in the bathroom anyway: I cleaned spattered toothpaste off every thing within reach of that sink!
From there I moved on into the living room and I vacuumed all the cobwebs around the ceiling and then I dusted all the paintings and wall hangings with the vacuum and then I dusted them all again using a dust cloth. I vacuumed all the animal hair from the lamp shade and desk tops, including all the 100 or more bottles of nail polish and cuticle oil. And then vacuumed the carpets and then I wore out!! I will do more tomorrow after we get home from shopping across the river. And will finalize everything again on Friday and get all the floors done. I didn't get every thing done like I had hoped but considering I could barely move when I got up this morning, I don't think I did too bad. I had to take a couple Aleeve pills for my low back. But they took care of the kink in my back in no time and then I started in with the housecleaning. M washed a couple loads of laundry to help me out. Today was the day that I just had to step back and let him do it even when I knew it wouldn't be done the way I would do it. He had his mind made up that he wanted to help me and so I decided it didn't matter if he forgot to put in the fabric softener or washed them on the wrong temp setting. It only mattered that he wanted to help me and I had to let him. Such a sweet gesture on his part!!
After I quit cleaning I decided to get to my blog but wouldn't you know it, our server was down? So I had to wait for an hour to get our internet back. Comcast has had a lot of troubles lately. Seems like it's down for an hour or so at least once a day. Don't know what's up with that. But it's frustrating!
I got a beautiful scarf from one of my readers (thanks Robin!) in yesterday's mail and I was so surprised. Thank you so much, Robin. It really is beautiful. It's hard to believe that you made it yourself. It's breath-taking. I tried it out yesterday in several different styles to see how it would look. The way I liked it best was folded into a large triangle, placed over the top of my head and gathered at the nape of the neck and made into a "pony tail" using a stretch bracelet I have. It really looked good that way and it was so easy. Today I've been wearing one of the knit caps from my sister but I got so hot while doing the housecleaning that I had to take it off and I haven't gotten back around to putting it back on. I've just now stopped sweating. We are sitting at 111 degrees here and our little cooler can't keep up with those kind of temps. Therefore, we sweat a lot if we try to do anything. Even typing this blog makes me sweat! Men are so lucky that they don't have to wear tops. They can run around barefoot in a pair of shorts and nothing more and be totally acceptable. This may be weird but I've always wondered if I had a double mastectomy done, I would go topless? I mean, the breasts would be gone so why not? I still don't think I could do that. I would just feel too weird. But anyway, thank you again, Robin, for the surprise. It means a lot to me and always will! That was so sweet of you to send it to me.
Debra, I read your comment on my blog and then somehow managed to delete all the comments. I don't know how I did it but I did. (I'm good at doing things like that!) I read your comment but it was when I tried to go directly to your blog that I deleted all comments. Could you please send me your blog addy again? I'd like to check out your blog. I don't know if there were other comments besides yours but yours I read and I'm hoping there weren't other comments that I deleted. I love to read the comments.
I'm going to keep this short today since I got such a late start on it. It's time for me to feed all my animals and then it will be time to cook dinner. Seems like there's always so much needing to be done. We'll get up super early tomorrow to get to the Medical Clinic by M's 8:30 appointment (we are not normally early risers). And then we'll head on over to WalMart and come back by Cost Less and then get home before it gets too horribly hot in the afternoon. If we go early enough we can usually get our shopping in before we roast. We're just going to cook a pizza for dinner tonight. We buy DiGorno's cheese pizza and we precook some Italian sausage. We scatter the meat around on the pizza, add a few chopped onions, a little anise seed, and a little shredded cheese and we come up with a delicious pizza. I don't know why no one ever carries sausage pizzas. That's our favorite. I don't like pepperoni because it's too spicy for me. Better get to my animals before they get too worked up.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Faith is a Choice
For those of you who don't know, I read two Psalms and three devotionals every morning and I thought I would share my devotionals from yesterday morning with you. They were just too good to keep to myself and yesterday was one of those days where two of the devotionals went together. (I love it when that happens, don't you?) It seems like this is God's way of really impressing a point home to me. Grace for the Moment was especially good: "He gives strength to those who are tired and more power to those who are weak." (Isaiah 40:29).
"An example of faith was found on the wall of a concentration camp. On it a prisoner had carved the words:
"I believe in the sun, even though it doesn't shine,
I believe in love, even when it isn't shown,
I believe in God, even when He doesn't speak.
"I try to imagine the person who etched those words. I try to envision his skeletal hand gripping the broken glass or stone that cut into the wall. I try to imagine his eyes squinting through the darkness as he carved each letter. What hand could have cut such a conviction? What eyes could have seen good in such horror? There is only one answer: Eyes that chose to see the unseen."
Isn't that wonderful? This was just so powerful to me. To believe even though "it doesn't shine, isn't shown, and doesn't speak." How often we doubt because He does things in His own time. That's one of the most difficult things for us to learn as we go through life. God does things according to His timetable. As humans, we are so rooted in time. We are so tied to those 24 hours each day, for those 365 days each year. When we're waiting for something, we demand it be when we think it should be, while God does things only when it is perfect to do those things. Being eternal and existing outside of time, God does things when it's best to do them. He sees past, present, and future all at the same time. We puzzle over this existence of the ever-present now, yet our children all live the beginnings of their lives that way. To a small child, a toddler, there is no such thing as time. He exists in a state of the ever-present now. He doesn't understand yesterday, today, or tomorrow. He is only aware of his needs right now, for this very moment. Everything is Now. Someday we too may live in a state of timelessness. When everything that is, is in the Now stage. Once we get that down we are so much better off.
Then in Streams in the Desert I read: "Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vine, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior" (Habakkuk 3:17-18).
"I ask you to observe what a disastrous situation is being described in this passage and to notice how courageous is the faith that is expressed. It is as if the writer were actually saying, 'Even if I am forced to undergo the extreme condition of not knowing where to find my next mean, and although my house is empty and my fields yield no crops and I see the evidence of divine pestilence where I once saw the fruits of God's plentiful provision, "Yet I will rejoice in the LORD." '
"I believe that these words are worthy of being written forever in stone with a diamond tool. Oh, by God's grace, may they be deeply etched on the tablets of our hearts!"
Isn't it wonderful the way these two devotionals, out of two different books, came together to paint a beautiful picture of God's grace and our faith in that grace?! I was really blessed yesterday by these two different devotionals. Especially the way one played right into the other. But we are to have faith like that. We are to see it as reality even though it's not yet here. We are to believe because God says so. No other reason. No signs or miracles are needed. We have God's Word, and that should be all we need. We believe simply because God says so. Can you see the faith there? To believe something is, with all our hearts even though it's not seen, just because God says it is so. These are faith building exercises; to believe even when it is unseen. I believe I am a child of God, even though I don't feel clean at all. I believe I am saved, even though I still sin. I believe God cares, even when things seem like they couldn't possibly get any worse. And I believe in God, even when it appears that He isn't answering my prayers. Yes, even if he slays me, yet will I hope in Him (Job 13:15).
There's just a little smoke between us and Hogback Mountain this morning. I sat there on the deck for awhile after my quiet time and just basked in God's glory. What an incredible God we have! And to think that he loves me? It isn't logical at all. It makes no sense whatsoever that this Great and Glorious God would care for the likes of me. But He does. We don't deserve Him but we possess Him. He lives inside of each of us who profess Him. "Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me" (Ps23). He is real. And He is here!
I have a cousin who lives in Weed, California, and she writes in her blog that they've had to deal with a lot more smoke these past few weeks than we have had to deal with. She says they've had a couple good days when the smoke had been cleared out by the wind but it's just been day after day of smoky skies for them. Hopefully all the fires will be out soon.
Stacy hasn't blogged since July. I hope they are all alright and not down with malaria or dysentery again or something worse. I've really missed hearing about their activities there in Liberia, West Africa. I still find it unbelievable the way they packed up everything and moved to Liberia the way they did. She and Dan with their 10 children. Steven has been visiting with them for the past few weeks. She has never stated, but I've assumed that Steven is a young man (late teens) from their home church here in the states. He has mostly worked with the children in the orphanage there locally. I think he has also gone with Dan in his street preaching. They just had amazing faith in all of this. They are my heroes. I know I couldn't have done what they did and I'm forever grateful that the Lord hasn't called me to such a life. But that when He calls someone answers.
I finally finished my Wiersby study in Romans. I now have a couple studies I could choose from or just continue with what I've been doing (reading the New Testament in the New Living Bible). What a wonderful translation it is. Just so readable! The version I have is written in really small type but even that can't keep me away from it. I am almost through the book of Acts and then I will move on in to the letters. I really enjoy reading from this Bible. I will eventually buy me a better version; one that's not so hard on the eyes to read.
We got really hot again yesterday and it's supposed to be even hotter today. August is not too late for another heatwave but I so hope we don't have to endure another one. It does seem to be cooling off a little earlier in the evenings now though so even if we had another one maybe it wouldn't be as bad. Just so I can sleep at night. I need a cool room to sleep in and the first week of July was awful. There were several nights when we just slept on top of the bed with the ceiling fan blowing down on us as well as the intake fans going in the windows. Last year's heatwave was so much worse than this year's. Last year we had to resort to hanging sheets and blankets over all the windows in a futile effort to avoid the heat that was coming though the window glass and it was just 100+ degrees day and night for almost two weeks. We were absolutely miserable.
There are hints of fall occasionally. The sun is setting more to one side than the other now. (It's either more south or more north, I don't know which.) All we know is that it comes in the window from a slightly different direction. Occasionally the late afternoon will just get the "feeling" of fall. Seems like we were just having winter and I couldn't wait for us to have spring then summer. Of course, I never look forward to summer because the heat and I just don't get along. But the time does seem to fly by anymore. I guess time flies when you're having fun. Isn't that what they always say?
Thank you, Debra, for suggesting little hats for my bald head. I really hadn't given that any thought. My sister loaned me some knitted caps but they look so hot (and probably are) but I hadn't thought of just looking for some hats. That's a great idea. I think I have decided to go shopping on Thursday with M after all. He has an 8:00 appointment which means we'll have to get up early to be there on time. But I won't have to worry about what my hair looks like! It's about a 45 min drive from here to the clinic and then it's probably another 5 miles to WalMart and K-Mart. But it will give me a chance to look for something else besides bandannas. I'm just so thankful that my bangs didn't fall out. I mean, that is just God's graciousness poured out to me. The whole top and crown fell out, but my bangs and around the sides of my head stayed. So when I have on a bandanna, hair shows all the way around it. No one would even know I'm bald. Amazing, wondrous Lord, the God of all comfort.
I have things I should be doing and I've been here for over an hour writing this blog so I think I better move on along to other things. I need to run out to the post office since neither one of us went out yesterday and I think I need to go by the store and pick up a loaf of bread for sandwiches. Yesterday I mixed up a big batch of Tuna salad for sandwiches and so for dinner last night we had a big salad (a scrumptious salad!) and tuna sandwiches. For the salad I used hearts of Romaine lettuce, tomatoes, purple grapes, avocado, shredded Parmesan cheese, and sunflower seeds with my sweet raspberry vinegar dressing. Tonight we've decided to have Eggs Benedict. (We eat a lot of breakfast foods for dinner.) Anyway, I need to get busy. If everything goes according to plan I will blog again tomorrow. Debra, again, thank you so much for you encouraging words and thoughts and, I'm curious, where abouts do you live in this great big world? I am in northern California about 90 miles due east of San Francisco, in the foothills of the Sierra mountains, in Calaveras County. It never ceases to amaze me how often I find people any where from right next door to England, Canada, and Africa.
"An example of faith was found on the wall of a concentration camp. On it a prisoner had carved the words:
"I believe in the sun, even though it doesn't shine,
I believe in love, even when it isn't shown,
I believe in God, even when He doesn't speak.
"I try to imagine the person who etched those words. I try to envision his skeletal hand gripping the broken glass or stone that cut into the wall. I try to imagine his eyes squinting through the darkness as he carved each letter. What hand could have cut such a conviction? What eyes could have seen good in such horror? There is only one answer: Eyes that chose to see the unseen."
Isn't that wonderful? This was just so powerful to me. To believe even though "it doesn't shine, isn't shown, and doesn't speak." How often we doubt because He does things in His own time. That's one of the most difficult things for us to learn as we go through life. God does things according to His timetable. As humans, we are so rooted in time. We are so tied to those 24 hours each day, for those 365 days each year. When we're waiting for something, we demand it be when we think it should be, while God does things only when it is perfect to do those things. Being eternal and existing outside of time, God does things when it's best to do them. He sees past, present, and future all at the same time. We puzzle over this existence of the ever-present now, yet our children all live the beginnings of their lives that way. To a small child, a toddler, there is no such thing as time. He exists in a state of the ever-present now. He doesn't understand yesterday, today, or tomorrow. He is only aware of his needs right now, for this very moment. Everything is Now. Someday we too may live in a state of timelessness. When everything that is, is in the Now stage. Once we get that down we are so much better off.
Then in Streams in the Desert I read: "Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vine, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior" (Habakkuk 3:17-18).
"I ask you to observe what a disastrous situation is being described in this passage and to notice how courageous is the faith that is expressed. It is as if the writer were actually saying, 'Even if I am forced to undergo the extreme condition of not knowing where to find my next mean, and although my house is empty and my fields yield no crops and I see the evidence of divine pestilence where I once saw the fruits of God's plentiful provision, "Yet I will rejoice in the LORD." '
"I believe that these words are worthy of being written forever in stone with a diamond tool. Oh, by God's grace, may they be deeply etched on the tablets of our hearts!"
Isn't it wonderful the way these two devotionals, out of two different books, came together to paint a beautiful picture of God's grace and our faith in that grace?! I was really blessed yesterday by these two different devotionals. Especially the way one played right into the other. But we are to have faith like that. We are to see it as reality even though it's not yet here. We are to believe because God says so. No other reason. No signs or miracles are needed. We have God's Word, and that should be all we need. We believe simply because God says so. Can you see the faith there? To believe something is, with all our hearts even though it's not seen, just because God says it is so. These are faith building exercises; to believe even when it is unseen. I believe I am a child of God, even though I don't feel clean at all. I believe I am saved, even though I still sin. I believe God cares, even when things seem like they couldn't possibly get any worse. And I believe in God, even when it appears that He isn't answering my prayers. Yes, even if he slays me, yet will I hope in Him (Job 13:15).
There's just a little smoke between us and Hogback Mountain this morning. I sat there on the deck for awhile after my quiet time and just basked in God's glory. What an incredible God we have! And to think that he loves me? It isn't logical at all. It makes no sense whatsoever that this Great and Glorious God would care for the likes of me. But He does. We don't deserve Him but we possess Him. He lives inside of each of us who profess Him. "Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me" (Ps23). He is real. And He is here!
I have a cousin who lives in Weed, California, and she writes in her blog that they've had to deal with a lot more smoke these past few weeks than we have had to deal with. She says they've had a couple good days when the smoke had been cleared out by the wind but it's just been day after day of smoky skies for them. Hopefully all the fires will be out soon.
Stacy hasn't blogged since July. I hope they are all alright and not down with malaria or dysentery again or something worse. I've really missed hearing about their activities there in Liberia, West Africa. I still find it unbelievable the way they packed up everything and moved to Liberia the way they did. She and Dan with their 10 children. Steven has been visiting with them for the past few weeks. She has never stated, but I've assumed that Steven is a young man (late teens) from their home church here in the states. He has mostly worked with the children in the orphanage there locally. I think he has also gone with Dan in his street preaching. They just had amazing faith in all of this. They are my heroes. I know I couldn't have done what they did and I'm forever grateful that the Lord hasn't called me to such a life. But that when He calls someone answers.
I finally finished my Wiersby study in Romans. I now have a couple studies I could choose from or just continue with what I've been doing (reading the New Testament in the New Living Bible). What a wonderful translation it is. Just so readable! The version I have is written in really small type but even that can't keep me away from it. I am almost through the book of Acts and then I will move on in to the letters. I really enjoy reading from this Bible. I will eventually buy me a better version; one that's not so hard on the eyes to read.
We got really hot again yesterday and it's supposed to be even hotter today. August is not too late for another heatwave but I so hope we don't have to endure another one. It does seem to be cooling off a little earlier in the evenings now though so even if we had another one maybe it wouldn't be as bad. Just so I can sleep at night. I need a cool room to sleep in and the first week of July was awful. There were several nights when we just slept on top of the bed with the ceiling fan blowing down on us as well as the intake fans going in the windows. Last year's heatwave was so much worse than this year's. Last year we had to resort to hanging sheets and blankets over all the windows in a futile effort to avoid the heat that was coming though the window glass and it was just 100+ degrees day and night for almost two weeks. We were absolutely miserable.
There are hints of fall occasionally. The sun is setting more to one side than the other now. (It's either more south or more north, I don't know which.) All we know is that it comes in the window from a slightly different direction. Occasionally the late afternoon will just get the "feeling" of fall. Seems like we were just having winter and I couldn't wait for us to have spring then summer. Of course, I never look forward to summer because the heat and I just don't get along. But the time does seem to fly by anymore. I guess time flies when you're having fun. Isn't that what they always say?
Thank you, Debra, for suggesting little hats for my bald head. I really hadn't given that any thought. My sister loaned me some knitted caps but they look so hot (and probably are) but I hadn't thought of just looking for some hats. That's a great idea. I think I have decided to go shopping on Thursday with M after all. He has an 8:00 appointment which means we'll have to get up early to be there on time. But I won't have to worry about what my hair looks like! It's about a 45 min drive from here to the clinic and then it's probably another 5 miles to WalMart and K-Mart. But it will give me a chance to look for something else besides bandannas. I'm just so thankful that my bangs didn't fall out. I mean, that is just God's graciousness poured out to me. The whole top and crown fell out, but my bangs and around the sides of my head stayed. So when I have on a bandanna, hair shows all the way around it. No one would even know I'm bald. Amazing, wondrous Lord, the God of all comfort.
I have things I should be doing and I've been here for over an hour writing this blog so I think I better move on along to other things. I need to run out to the post office since neither one of us went out yesterday and I think I need to go by the store and pick up a loaf of bread for sandwiches. Yesterday I mixed up a big batch of Tuna salad for sandwiches and so for dinner last night we had a big salad (a scrumptious salad!) and tuna sandwiches. For the salad I used hearts of Romaine lettuce, tomatoes, purple grapes, avocado, shredded Parmesan cheese, and sunflower seeds with my sweet raspberry vinegar dressing. Tonight we've decided to have Eggs Benedict. (We eat a lot of breakfast foods for dinner.) Anyway, I need to get busy. If everything goes according to plan I will blog again tomorrow. Debra, again, thank you so much for you encouraging words and thoughts and, I'm curious, where abouts do you live in this great big world? I am in northern California about 90 miles due east of San Francisco, in the foothills of the Sierra mountains, in Calaveras County. It never ceases to amaze me how often I find people any where from right next door to England, Canada, and Africa.
Monday, August 11, 2008
It's All Gone
[My hair, that is.] My computer has been down for two days. It was something my server had done for some reason. But today just happens to be K's day off (my son) and he dropped everything and came over and found the problem. Computers are really, really strange creatures. I just thank God that my son is so talented with computers. As my sister says: "Your son can do anything and everything on any computer." I hadn't realized my computer was down until I got suspicious late yesterday afternoon and decided to send an email out to my family group to see if they were all shunning me because I'm now bald (just joking! I just wondered why I hadn't gotten any email) and that's when I got a message back that I wasn't connected to the server. So anyway, praise God, I'm up and running again.
I wanted to thank everyone for their kind comments to my latest dilemma. Last night I decided to just cut off the hair on the very top of my head (two little areas about the size of a quarter each) and be done with it. Now it will grow out with the rest of my head. I had already cut it down to about an inch anyway so I just decided to bite the bullet last night. I took the scissors and just snipped it off level with the scalp. So now I'm as bald as a billiard ball on top. But I am very blessed because I still have bangs and the hair in front of my ears and the nape of the neck. So I have hair showing all around the bandanna. Just so the wind doesn't blow my bandanna up in the back. People will think I have a full head of hair under this scarf. Even so, now it will all grow out at the same time. That is, of course, if it comes back in. But everyone was so kind at church yesterday. I just wore my bandanna and if anyone asked or looked at me questioningly I told them my hair had fallen out and I showed several people and they were very sympathetic to me. And I confess, I had a few twinges of panic: "Lord, don't let me look stupid with this thing on?" But the panic went away in short order. No one was shocked or horrified. No one panicked or ran for the door. They all just calmly said they were sorry and I said not to worry about it, that my hair would grow back and that if it didn't come back, I would just get a wig or two. Which is exactly what I will do if my hair doesn't grow back. I'm trying to look at it this way: if it doesn't grow back, I will never again have to worry about what my hair looks like. I will never again make my husband wait to go somewhere while I redo my hair because it doesn't look just right. Never again will I need to get up an hour earlier to go somewhere just to get my hair washed, dried, and styled. I can actually see this as a form of liberation. I'm free and I don't ever have to worry about my hair again. Assuming it doesn't come back, of course. Wigs will give me the opportunity to try different colors if I should decide to be daring. So there really are pluses in this whole mess.
Anyway, Debra, thanks for visiting my blog again. I started writing a comment to your comment and then just decided to publish a short post on my blog. So if you haven't checked the comments section of my last post, you'll probably want to because I did write something there for you. But what I wanted to say is please don't cry for me. I appreciate your tears, but this is really no big deal. Honest. And I'm sure you were really much better about losing your hair than you think you were. I have gotten better about my hair in the last year or two. In fact I think God has been preparing me for this. Always before I was horrified if my hair was cut too short or left too long or not just so, when I went to my hairdresser. Hair was always such a big deal for me. I mean, a BIG DEAL!! I would have a fit if it didn't look just right. I wouldn't even try coloring it for fear that I'd end looking stupid. But the last couple years I've always had this feeling of, "Oh, well, it'll grow out." And I was able to be casual about my hair. I know that it was the Lord calming me down about my hair, preparing me for this. I mean, I was obsessed with my hair, a fanatic until just a year or so ago. But now it's really no big deal at all. I look fine with the bandanna on. People may wonder why I'm wearing a bandanna all the time, but I won't look bad. And if I cry about it it's just going to plug up my sinuses and make my face all blotchy.
My biggest problem is finding bandannas that look good with my clothes. Yesterday I had put on a black one with white designs and I was wearing a long dress with small pink/rose flowers on a barely noticeable black background because there are so many small flowers on the dress. I thought with the background being black, the black bandanna would look best. But I ended up taking it off and putting on the gray one with white and black accents and it looked better than the black one. The pattern designs didn't match at all but it just didn't look as over-powering as the black one had looked. So I wore that one even though the color didn't go with anything.
M (my hubby) has a doctor appointment again Thursday and I think I'll ride along and maybe look for some more bandannas in other colors. The thing is, none of them are going to "match" with my clothing, so I don't need a whole bunch of colors but I would like more than dark blue, gray, black, and lavender. I ought to just stick with the gray and forget about colors. It really doesn't matter what color I have on. I may have just talked myself out of going Thursday. I'm so fickle! I'll have my mind made up what I will do by Thursday. I hope. (I do this all the time!)
So for all my friends out there who read my blog, now that I've got my computer problem fixed, I will be I will be up and running tomorrow. Or at least that's my plans as of right now. Now that this disaster has been officially dealt with, I see no reason not to blog. I will be back with my short devotional and comments tomorrow or Wednesday, depending on how many things I get done today, things that need my attention, things that I've put off for a week. If I get everything addressed and taken care of, I'll be back to blogging tomorrow. Just happened to think that I have an Executive Board meeting Wednesday night, mustn't forget that. Well, they should have all seen me in my bandanna yesterday so there won't be any surprises there. It does feel strange, Debra, I admit; but it's not the worst thing that could have happened. If I have lost my hair permanently I'll just buy wigs and get rid of the bandannas. Like I said, I'll be able to even choose the color if I want to add a little excitement to my life. (M has put in an order for blond, ha!)
Well, my cats have all swarmed around me reminding me that it's feeding time. So I'm going to sign off for today and get that done. You see, my cats are all so smart, they can tell time. They know exactly when 4:00 rolls around. I think they all have little alarm clocks in their tummies and they go off at the appropriate time. But they went off a bit prematurely today though. Until next time stay close to the Lord and submit eagerly to His will for your life. We never know what He has planned for us until we do...
I wanted to thank everyone for their kind comments to my latest dilemma. Last night I decided to just cut off the hair on the very top of my head (two little areas about the size of a quarter each) and be done with it. Now it will grow out with the rest of my head. I had already cut it down to about an inch anyway so I just decided to bite the bullet last night. I took the scissors and just snipped it off level with the scalp. So now I'm as bald as a billiard ball on top. But I am very blessed because I still have bangs and the hair in front of my ears and the nape of the neck. So I have hair showing all around the bandanna. Just so the wind doesn't blow my bandanna up in the back. People will think I have a full head of hair under this scarf. Even so, now it will all grow out at the same time. That is, of course, if it comes back in. But everyone was so kind at church yesterday. I just wore my bandanna and if anyone asked or looked at me questioningly I told them my hair had fallen out and I showed several people and they were very sympathetic to me. And I confess, I had a few twinges of panic: "Lord, don't let me look stupid with this thing on?" But the panic went away in short order. No one was shocked or horrified. No one panicked or ran for the door. They all just calmly said they were sorry and I said not to worry about it, that my hair would grow back and that if it didn't come back, I would just get a wig or two. Which is exactly what I will do if my hair doesn't grow back. I'm trying to look at it this way: if it doesn't grow back, I will never again have to worry about what my hair looks like. I will never again make my husband wait to go somewhere while I redo my hair because it doesn't look just right. Never again will I need to get up an hour earlier to go somewhere just to get my hair washed, dried, and styled. I can actually see this as a form of liberation. I'm free and I don't ever have to worry about my hair again. Assuming it doesn't come back, of course. Wigs will give me the opportunity to try different colors if I should decide to be daring. So there really are pluses in this whole mess.
Anyway, Debra, thanks for visiting my blog again. I started writing a comment to your comment and then just decided to publish a short post on my blog. So if you haven't checked the comments section of my last post, you'll probably want to because I did write something there for you. But what I wanted to say is please don't cry for me. I appreciate your tears, but this is really no big deal. Honest. And I'm sure you were really much better about losing your hair than you think you were. I have gotten better about my hair in the last year or two. In fact I think God has been preparing me for this. Always before I was horrified if my hair was cut too short or left too long or not just so, when I went to my hairdresser. Hair was always such a big deal for me. I mean, a BIG DEAL!! I would have a fit if it didn't look just right. I wouldn't even try coloring it for fear that I'd end looking stupid. But the last couple years I've always had this feeling of, "Oh, well, it'll grow out." And I was able to be casual about my hair. I know that it was the Lord calming me down about my hair, preparing me for this. I mean, I was obsessed with my hair, a fanatic until just a year or so ago. But now it's really no big deal at all. I look fine with the bandanna on. People may wonder why I'm wearing a bandanna all the time, but I won't look bad. And if I cry about it it's just going to plug up my sinuses and make my face all blotchy.
My biggest problem is finding bandannas that look good with my clothes. Yesterday I had put on a black one with white designs and I was wearing a long dress with small pink/rose flowers on a barely noticeable black background because there are so many small flowers on the dress. I thought with the background being black, the black bandanna would look best. But I ended up taking it off and putting on the gray one with white and black accents and it looked better than the black one. The pattern designs didn't match at all but it just didn't look as over-powering as the black one had looked. So I wore that one even though the color didn't go with anything.
M (my hubby) has a doctor appointment again Thursday and I think I'll ride along and maybe look for some more bandannas in other colors. The thing is, none of them are going to "match" with my clothing, so I don't need a whole bunch of colors but I would like more than dark blue, gray, black, and lavender. I ought to just stick with the gray and forget about colors. It really doesn't matter what color I have on. I may have just talked myself out of going Thursday. I'm so fickle! I'll have my mind made up what I will do by Thursday. I hope. (I do this all the time!)
So for all my friends out there who read my blog, now that I've got my computer problem fixed, I will be I will be up and running tomorrow. Or at least that's my plans as of right now. Now that this disaster has been officially dealt with, I see no reason not to blog. I will be back with my short devotional and comments tomorrow or Wednesday, depending on how many things I get done today, things that need my attention, things that I've put off for a week. If I get everything addressed and taken care of, I'll be back to blogging tomorrow. Just happened to think that I have an Executive Board meeting Wednesday night, mustn't forget that. Well, they should have all seen me in my bandanna yesterday so there won't be any surprises there. It does feel strange, Debra, I admit; but it's not the worst thing that could have happened. If I have lost my hair permanently I'll just buy wigs and get rid of the bandannas. Like I said, I'll be able to even choose the color if I want to add a little excitement to my life. (M has put in an order for blond, ha!)
Well, my cats have all swarmed around me reminding me that it's feeding time. So I'm going to sign off for today and get that done. You see, my cats are all so smart, they can tell time. They know exactly when 4:00 rolls around. I think they all have little alarm clocks in their tummies and they go off at the appropriate time. But they went off a bit prematurely today though. Until next time stay close to the Lord and submit eagerly to His will for your life. We never know what He has planned for us until we do...
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Doing OK
Believe it or not, I'm doing okay. I still haven't shed a tear since my hair fell out. It just doesn't seem to be that big a deal. I mean, it is a big deal. Women aren't supposed to be bald! But the super sadness hasn't hit me yet. Maybe it won't come at all. It's really such a small thing when I compare it with all the tragedies it could just as easily have been. My sister came over yesterday afternoon and she said I look "cute" with my bandanna on my head. I don't know that I would go so far as to say that, exactly, but I am certainly presentable. I did take the scissors and cut back a little on the length of the hair on the exact top of my head. All the other hair has fallen out except for a little tuft, about the size of a quarter, that has managed to stay connected with my scalp and it looked stupid to have just that little bit left long when it is surrounded by a bald head. My hair on the sides, over the ears, is fine and I was thinking yesterday that if it were longer I could do a comb over. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the silly men you see who have lost the hair from the top of their head and they grow one side out really, really long and then part it just above the ear and comb it all up and over their bald head. Like that looks so natural!! Like you'll actually fool people into thinking that you have a normal amount of hair. I guess we all have to deal with things in our own way but I've just always thought the men looked worse combing their hair over like that than they would just going with the bald head. One thing, though, with me I no longer have to worry what my hair looks like. That will mean that I won't have to get up an extra hour earlier on communion Sundays to give my hair time to be washed and left to air dry. Hey, there are benefits to being bald! That's cool, right? And I don't have to worry when the wind blows. With my bandanna on, I have no fears of the wind blowing my hair all around. (Like I have hair to worry about for that matter.) Yeah, there are definite benefits to going bald.
I need to wash my car today, it's Saturday after all. The sap from the oak tree under which I park puts little specks all over my car and it's really bad on the windshield because if you turn to drive into the sun, all you can see are specks on the glass and you can't see where you're going. But if I don't park it under the oak, it has to sit out in the blazing sun all day long. So I put up with the sap. I got in and got my house pretty well picked up yesterday when my sister sent me the email advising me that she thought she'd come over for awhile and visit. That was so nice. She picked up deli sandwiches, potato salad, ambrosia, and chips so we had a great lunch and then she taught us how to play Phase 10 and we had a really good time. It's a fun card game. I plan on buying the game the next time I go to do some shopping. It just costs about $5 or $6 so it's not all that expensive. And it was a lot of fun. It's kind of interesting how each player can be on a different phase of the game yet they are all playing each other. It's much too difficult to explain so I'm not even going to try.
We've had beautiful weather all week. Hot enough to need the evaporative cooler but cool enough to not need anything more. We could still face a heatwave or two before moving into fall. But I've got my fingers crossed that the worst of summer is behind us. It is so nice in the mornings doing my quite time out on the deck. And to think it only took 5 or 6 years for us to start enjoying our deck! I usually go out in the evenings and sit out there too. It's just very pleasant out there. Too hot to sit out in the middle of the day though even though it has shade screening over the patio cover. We get nice shade but it's just too hot during the day shade or no shade.
This is short and I didn't do a devotional but I wanted to write and let all of you know I'm doing okay. I have some pictures of my bald head but I don't know how to take a pic from email and insert it into my blog so you'll just have to imagine how I look bald. I'm scheduled for a haircut in two weeks and I thought by then I should know if this is going to grow back and if it looks like it is, I will have her cut all my hair the same length and then let it grow out all together at the same time. Debra gave me reason to be optimistic that it might even grow back out with better texture and a little thicker. Deb, sorry you had to have yours shaved and I'm really sorry it had to be shaved for something as traumatic as brain surgery. Hopefully you're doing well since your surgery. See, that's what I mean about the fact that it could have been so much worse. I could have had to lose my hair because I needed brain surgery! There are so many worse things than just losing your hair. I feel ashamed for having reacted the way I did. Losing your hair is not, by any stretch of the imagination, the worst thing to happen to a woman. And I praise God that losing my hair is all there is to it in my case. Sure it's a freaky thing to just suddenly up and lose all your hair but it could just as easily be something so much worse. I praise you, Lord, that it wasn't something worse.
I'm going to say goodbye for now and get some things done so I can get my car washed before it gets too awfully much hotter. I just remembered I haven't made the bed yet! And I haven't even finished dressing!! Boy! I'm really behind. I think I'll wear a different color bandanna today. Hopefully I will be back to writing a normal blog by Monday. I hope a week is all I need to get over the initial shock of losing my hair. I think it is, I'm really quite comfortable with it. I don't even mind taking off the scarf and showing the bald head to anyone who wants to see. If anyone asks tomorrow at church I'm pretty sure I'll just pull off the scarf and let them see. It's not really so bad. It isn't. Isn't that amazing that I'm not all freaked out about it. ... now ... If this had happened to me in my 20s or 30s I would have refused to leave the house until it grew back. And I might have locked myself in my bedroom for weeks at a time. Guess there are definite benefits to aging. Until next time...
I need to wash my car today, it's Saturday after all. The sap from the oak tree under which I park puts little specks all over my car and it's really bad on the windshield because if you turn to drive into the sun, all you can see are specks on the glass and you can't see where you're going. But if I don't park it under the oak, it has to sit out in the blazing sun all day long. So I put up with the sap. I got in and got my house pretty well picked up yesterday when my sister sent me the email advising me that she thought she'd come over for awhile and visit. That was so nice. She picked up deli sandwiches, potato salad, ambrosia, and chips so we had a great lunch and then she taught us how to play Phase 10 and we had a really good time. It's a fun card game. I plan on buying the game the next time I go to do some shopping. It just costs about $5 or $6 so it's not all that expensive. And it was a lot of fun. It's kind of interesting how each player can be on a different phase of the game yet they are all playing each other. It's much too difficult to explain so I'm not even going to try.
We've had beautiful weather all week. Hot enough to need the evaporative cooler but cool enough to not need anything more. We could still face a heatwave or two before moving into fall. But I've got my fingers crossed that the worst of summer is behind us. It is so nice in the mornings doing my quite time out on the deck. And to think it only took 5 or 6 years for us to start enjoying our deck! I usually go out in the evenings and sit out there too. It's just very pleasant out there. Too hot to sit out in the middle of the day though even though it has shade screening over the patio cover. We get nice shade but it's just too hot during the day shade or no shade.
This is short and I didn't do a devotional but I wanted to write and let all of you know I'm doing okay. I have some pictures of my bald head but I don't know how to take a pic from email and insert it into my blog so you'll just have to imagine how I look bald. I'm scheduled for a haircut in two weeks and I thought by then I should know if this is going to grow back and if it looks like it is, I will have her cut all my hair the same length and then let it grow out all together at the same time. Debra gave me reason to be optimistic that it might even grow back out with better texture and a little thicker. Deb, sorry you had to have yours shaved and I'm really sorry it had to be shaved for something as traumatic as brain surgery. Hopefully you're doing well since your surgery. See, that's what I mean about the fact that it could have been so much worse. I could have had to lose my hair because I needed brain surgery! There are so many worse things than just losing your hair. I feel ashamed for having reacted the way I did. Losing your hair is not, by any stretch of the imagination, the worst thing to happen to a woman. And I praise God that losing my hair is all there is to it in my case. Sure it's a freaky thing to just suddenly up and lose all your hair but it could just as easily be something so much worse. I praise you, Lord, that it wasn't something worse.
I'm going to say goodbye for now and get some things done so I can get my car washed before it gets too awfully much hotter. I just remembered I haven't made the bed yet! And I haven't even finished dressing!! Boy! I'm really behind. I think I'll wear a different color bandanna today. Hopefully I will be back to writing a normal blog by Monday. I hope a week is all I need to get over the initial shock of losing my hair. I think it is, I'm really quite comfortable with it. I don't even mind taking off the scarf and showing the bald head to anyone who wants to see. If anyone asks tomorrow at church I'm pretty sure I'll just pull off the scarf and let them see. It's not really so bad. It isn't. Isn't that amazing that I'm not all freaked out about it. ... now ... If this had happened to me in my 20s or 30s I would have refused to leave the house until it grew back. And I might have locked myself in my bedroom for weeks at a time. Guess there are definite benefits to aging. Until next time...
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Not My Usual Self
I don't know if this week of blogs is going to work for me at all. I wasn't up to blogging yesterday and really don't want to blog today. My problem is ... are you ready for this? Talk about freaky things happening. ALMOST ALL MY HAIR HAS FALLEN OUT!! That's right. My hair has fallen out. I'm sitting here typing with a scarf on my head. I have a doctor appointment tomorrow but what can she do? Glue it back on? I have saved all my hair in a bag to take with me so she can see how it came out. It didn't come out 2 or 3 hairs at a time. No, it came out in clumps!
It all started about 2 weeks ago, maybe 2-1/2 weeks ago. I developed some itching. Then a rash of some kind. And then a hard layer of something almost like a white scab formed on my scalp, like a crust. My entire head was covered with this scab or crust and when the "crust" broke loose and came off, all my hair in that area came off with it. I still have some hair but I'm also still shedding. There's no denying it; it really looks bad and I have the most awful hunch that it won't grow back. So it may be wigs and scarves for me for the rest of my life. That is, unless I can withstand the stares and go natural. Which I don't really think I can do. I don't mind going around natural here at home but what am I going to do when I have to go out in public? I have a Deacon's meeting to chair Thursday night. Then of course there's church on Sunday. I will feel so silly sitting there with a cap or scarf on my head. But I would feel a lot sillier to be sitting there bald.
I'm not completely bald. I still have tufts of hair around on my head. But it looks really bad. The entire top and around the crown of my head there's just a smattering of hair. I think it would look better if I just shaved it all off and I may get up the nerve to do that. I mean, I certainly can't make it look any worse! I will know more after seeing the doctor tomorrow. Maybe. I think a lot of what I do rests upon whether or not this is a permanent loss of hair. It all started with an allergic reaction to a hair care product. (Or at least that's what the doctor thought.) It's just weird to go from normal to bald in a couple of weeks. People will think I'm undergoing chemo and they won't mention it. Or I can hope they won't. I guess if they ask I'll just have to tell them my hair fell out. And while I'd been losing clumps of hair for a week, yesterday was the big day. I had hair all over my bathroom and all around the shoulders of the top I was wearing. Every time I ran a comb through my hair I had to stop and clean the comb because one pass and it would be full of hair. Not all is lost though. Over the ears and along the nape of the neck I have near normal amounts of hair at this time. But so much fell out yesterday it was incredible. It was like something you'd see in a nightmare! Well this will surely be a test of my Christian faith. I really, really don't want to be bald. I can stand it for a little while but for the rest of my life? I don't know, that's kind of shaky.
Actually, to be quite truthful about it, I'm not nearly as upset as I thought I'd be if something were to ever happen like this. I mean, it's pretty traumatic for a woman's hair to fall out, you have to say that much for it, but I am relatively calm about the whole thing. Especially since yesterday was really the day for hair loss. I mean, I had lost a lot of hair up until then but I'd been able to go to church on Sunday with a little creative styling and a prayer that no one would look deeper than the surface. After yesterday, however, the game is over. There is no styling creative enough to fix this problem. Of course, like I said, just staying around home is giving me a false sense of security. I will know my real reaction will come tomorrow when I go out to the doctor. I'm starting to get a little nervous about going out in public. If this turns out to be permanent, my sisters are going to take me wig shopping. But I can hardly stand the thought of wearing wigs for the rest of my life.
I would ask, Why me? But the only real answer to that is, Why not me? What do I think is so special about me that I should be spared such an event? We all know there is nothing special about me. I'm just an average, run-of-the-mill Christian who tries to learn a lesson from every experience the Lord allows to come into my life. No matter what, God allowed this hair loss to happen to me so I must take it the same way as if it were coming directly from the Lord. My only worry is that I will miss the lesson in sanctification this brings into my life. The whole experience will be for nothing if I miss the lesson. Lord, open my eyes and let me not miss what you want me to learn. Grant me the ability to find and understand the reason behind this trouble I'm going through. May my eyes be ever opened to see whatever it is that you are doing in my life. I need to recognize whatever it is that You are using to transform me into one more like Christ. I mean, there's definitely some humility mixed in here (duh!) but I never really thought myself proud over having hair in the first place. I haven't really had the time to think this all out.
The loss happened so suddenly. My hair is still shedding and I wish it would just get to the final point and either start growing back or I can start the grieving process for the loss of my hair. And I mustn't think for a moment that there will not be grief. A woman doesn't lose the "crown" of her glory without a few tears. I haven't cried yet. Actually I haven't had the time to feel much of anything. It just sort of suddenly happened and I'm left without knowing what to think. Besides the fact that I realize it looks very bad. Face it, women aren't supposed to lose their hair. But maybe it will grow back in a little thicker and will have more body to it. That's the good part to think about. Maybe I'll go through this and have the end result be a gloriously beautiful head of hair. Yeah, right! I'm bald and I'm probably going to stay that way. So anyway I'm not really in the mood for blogging so I'm going to take this week off and write again when I know a few things.
My head itches and hurts today. What a freaky thing to happen. Can you imagine going bald? I can't and it's happened to me! As Solomon would say, 'Vanity, it's all vanity. Just chasing after the wind.' I guess I need to run out to the store and buy some bacon for dinner tonight and then I may lie down and take a little nap. I have a lot of reading I need to do and a whole lot of cleaning I need to do but I lack any motivation for either. This is all in God's hands and whatever He wills, I'm determined to withstand without too much whining. Trust me, it's not easy when it comes to something like a woman's hair.
It all started about 2 weeks ago, maybe 2-1/2 weeks ago. I developed some itching. Then a rash of some kind. And then a hard layer of something almost like a white scab formed on my scalp, like a crust. My entire head was covered with this scab or crust and when the "crust" broke loose and came off, all my hair in that area came off with it. I still have some hair but I'm also still shedding. There's no denying it; it really looks bad and I have the most awful hunch that it won't grow back. So it may be wigs and scarves for me for the rest of my life. That is, unless I can withstand the stares and go natural. Which I don't really think I can do. I don't mind going around natural here at home but what am I going to do when I have to go out in public? I have a Deacon's meeting to chair Thursday night. Then of course there's church on Sunday. I will feel so silly sitting there with a cap or scarf on my head. But I would feel a lot sillier to be sitting there bald.
I'm not completely bald. I still have tufts of hair around on my head. But it looks really bad. The entire top and around the crown of my head there's just a smattering of hair. I think it would look better if I just shaved it all off and I may get up the nerve to do that. I mean, I certainly can't make it look any worse! I will know more after seeing the doctor tomorrow. Maybe. I think a lot of what I do rests upon whether or not this is a permanent loss of hair. It all started with an allergic reaction to a hair care product. (Or at least that's what the doctor thought.) It's just weird to go from normal to bald in a couple of weeks. People will think I'm undergoing chemo and they won't mention it. Or I can hope they won't. I guess if they ask I'll just have to tell them my hair fell out. And while I'd been losing clumps of hair for a week, yesterday was the big day. I had hair all over my bathroom and all around the shoulders of the top I was wearing. Every time I ran a comb through my hair I had to stop and clean the comb because one pass and it would be full of hair. Not all is lost though. Over the ears and along the nape of the neck I have near normal amounts of hair at this time. But so much fell out yesterday it was incredible. It was like something you'd see in a nightmare! Well this will surely be a test of my Christian faith. I really, really don't want to be bald. I can stand it for a little while but for the rest of my life? I don't know, that's kind of shaky.
Actually, to be quite truthful about it, I'm not nearly as upset as I thought I'd be if something were to ever happen like this. I mean, it's pretty traumatic for a woman's hair to fall out, you have to say that much for it, but I am relatively calm about the whole thing. Especially since yesterday was really the day for hair loss. I mean, I had lost a lot of hair up until then but I'd been able to go to church on Sunday with a little creative styling and a prayer that no one would look deeper than the surface. After yesterday, however, the game is over. There is no styling creative enough to fix this problem. Of course, like I said, just staying around home is giving me a false sense of security. I will know my real reaction will come tomorrow when I go out to the doctor. I'm starting to get a little nervous about going out in public. If this turns out to be permanent, my sisters are going to take me wig shopping. But I can hardly stand the thought of wearing wigs for the rest of my life.
I would ask, Why me? But the only real answer to that is, Why not me? What do I think is so special about me that I should be spared such an event? We all know there is nothing special about me. I'm just an average, run-of-the-mill Christian who tries to learn a lesson from every experience the Lord allows to come into my life. No matter what, God allowed this hair loss to happen to me so I must take it the same way as if it were coming directly from the Lord. My only worry is that I will miss the lesson in sanctification this brings into my life. The whole experience will be for nothing if I miss the lesson. Lord, open my eyes and let me not miss what you want me to learn. Grant me the ability to find and understand the reason behind this trouble I'm going through. May my eyes be ever opened to see whatever it is that you are doing in my life. I need to recognize whatever it is that You are using to transform me into one more like Christ. I mean, there's definitely some humility mixed in here (duh!) but I never really thought myself proud over having hair in the first place. I haven't really had the time to think this all out.
The loss happened so suddenly. My hair is still shedding and I wish it would just get to the final point and either start growing back or I can start the grieving process for the loss of my hair. And I mustn't think for a moment that there will not be grief. A woman doesn't lose the "crown" of her glory without a few tears. I haven't cried yet. Actually I haven't had the time to feel much of anything. It just sort of suddenly happened and I'm left without knowing what to think. Besides the fact that I realize it looks very bad. Face it, women aren't supposed to lose their hair. But maybe it will grow back in a little thicker and will have more body to it. That's the good part to think about. Maybe I'll go through this and have the end result be a gloriously beautiful head of hair. Yeah, right! I'm bald and I'm probably going to stay that way. So anyway I'm not really in the mood for blogging so I'm going to take this week off and write again when I know a few things.
My head itches and hurts today. What a freaky thing to happen. Can you imagine going bald? I can't and it's happened to me! As Solomon would say, 'Vanity, it's all vanity. Just chasing after the wind.' I guess I need to run out to the store and buy some bacon for dinner tonight and then I may lie down and take a little nap. I have a lot of reading I need to do and a whole lot of cleaning I need to do but I lack any motivation for either. This is all in God's hands and whatever He wills, I'm determined to withstand without too much whining. Trust me, it's not easy when it comes to something like a woman's hair.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Tagged
I got tagged ... AGAIN! Short on time and energy today so I'll just try and come up with six things about myself. I'll do this in place of my blog since I don't have the energy to do that today.
1. My hair is falling out in tufts from a scalp infection/condition. I was on antibiotics for 10 days and they helped with the infection but the condition is still there and I've lost about half my hair to the top and around the crown. I've had to give up on trying to hide my scalp. And of course the sores on my head look just awful and I can't hide them either! I know there are worse things in life but I'm having difficulty coming up with a list of things.
2. I love animals. I have 7 cats and a dog. Three of the cats are outside cats and four of them are inside cats. (My math checks out.)
3. I quit smoking about a year and a half ago and gained 25 pounds. I guess it was worth it, ha! Seriously, I love being a nonsmoker. But strangely I miss the cigarettes. That craving never goes away.
4. I'm a lousy housekeeper. I used to be so good at it. Then I got tired. Then I got lazy. And then I got behind. Once you get behind it's a lost cause.
5. I love to read and it is nothing unusual for me to read an entire book in a single day.
6. I love my Lord and don't know how I managed before coming to know Him. How did I make it through the day without Him? Sure can't do it now. Now He is my life!
Okay, that's it for me. I hope to blog tomorrow. Mondays are becoming tough days for me to blog on. Can't seem to get it together enough to blog. I'm really bummed about my hair today and I'm fearful that it won't grow back. Men can go bald and no one thinks anything about it. But there's just something special about a woman's hair. Oh well, I'm going to go put on more medicine and hope it helps. Will see the Doc again on Wednesday. Hope she has some good news for me. You could pray for me, if you will. I think it will take His intervention in the matter. Pray that God will give me the strength to realize that, as bad as it is, it could be worse. I could have had to go through chemo and lose it all. Of course, there's the chance that they may have to shave my head to treat this problem. Then what will I do? I have a baseball cap. I may end up wearing it! But for now I'll just stay out of public places as much as I can. I have the doctor appointment on Wednesday and then a Deacon's meeting Thursday evening. And other than those two things, I don't plan on going out at all. My hair is such a mess and my bathroom is wall to wall hair. I've saved some of it to take with my to show the doctor on Weds. I think it maybe significant that it's falling out in clumps and not just a few hairs at a time. It is safe for me to say that I have never experienced anything like this in my entire life. What will I do if it doesn't grow back in? Wigs? They will be nice and cool, won't they! And so attractive!!
The sky was a beautiful shade of blue this morning and Hogback was clearly visible. I'm reading a book now, written my William Christopher and his wife Barbara, written about their younger son who is autistic. (He played the priest in the TV version of M*A*S*H*.) It's a change in reading material for me but I've found the book really interesting. It's amazing what they all went through and I'm anxious to find out how well the program worked on their son, Ned. He had to learn to crawl all over again and crawl everywhere he went. Weird program but it's the only help they'd been offered that seemed to help Ned at all. Every seven minutes that had to put a small bag over Ned's face to increase the carbon dioxide content in his blood. Can you imagine having to do that every seven minutes during your child's day?? Their love for Ned is so evident. They worked tirelessly trying to help him. I'm to the point in the book where things are beginning to turn toward his favor. I don't know if the improvements are going to turn out to be anything lasting. But it's been a good read so far. I checked it out yesterday at church. Also checked out a few other books that I may or may not read. I check them out and then bring them home and read a little of each one to see if it's going to be interesting. I also checked out a work of fiction, which I don't normally read but I may give this one a good trial. I didn't have a lot of free time to spend looking over the books really well. I bring them home for that. It's not unusual for me to check out 5 or 6 books and take back 4 or 5 of them, unread, the next time I go back to church. It's the way I used to do my clothes shopping. Buy and take home the things that looked interesting and make up my mind once I get home and then take back the clothes that didn't impress me. It meant two trips to the store but I can't really try anything on when I'm shopping. Now I rarely buy anything so it's not a big deal to me any more. Guess this will be it for now. I really didn't have anything to write about in the first place. Something you've figured out on your own if you've read this far. Tomorrow will finish up my Wiersby study in Romans. Then I guess I'll get into my Phil. and Col. study. Take care...
1. My hair is falling out in tufts from a scalp infection/condition. I was on antibiotics for 10 days and they helped with the infection but the condition is still there and I've lost about half my hair to the top and around the crown. I've had to give up on trying to hide my scalp. And of course the sores on my head look just awful and I can't hide them either! I know there are worse things in life but I'm having difficulty coming up with a list of things.
2. I love animals. I have 7 cats and a dog. Three of the cats are outside cats and four of them are inside cats. (My math checks out.)
3. I quit smoking about a year and a half ago and gained 25 pounds. I guess it was worth it, ha! Seriously, I love being a nonsmoker. But strangely I miss the cigarettes. That craving never goes away.
4. I'm a lousy housekeeper. I used to be so good at it. Then I got tired. Then I got lazy. And then I got behind. Once you get behind it's a lost cause.
5. I love to read and it is nothing unusual for me to read an entire book in a single day.
6. I love my Lord and don't know how I managed before coming to know Him. How did I make it through the day without Him? Sure can't do it now. Now He is my life!
Okay, that's it for me. I hope to blog tomorrow. Mondays are becoming tough days for me to blog on. Can't seem to get it together enough to blog. I'm really bummed about my hair today and I'm fearful that it won't grow back. Men can go bald and no one thinks anything about it. But there's just something special about a woman's hair. Oh well, I'm going to go put on more medicine and hope it helps. Will see the Doc again on Wednesday. Hope she has some good news for me. You could pray for me, if you will. I think it will take His intervention in the matter. Pray that God will give me the strength to realize that, as bad as it is, it could be worse. I could have had to go through chemo and lose it all. Of course, there's the chance that they may have to shave my head to treat this problem. Then what will I do? I have a baseball cap. I may end up wearing it! But for now I'll just stay out of public places as much as I can. I have the doctor appointment on Wednesday and then a Deacon's meeting Thursday evening. And other than those two things, I don't plan on going out at all. My hair is such a mess and my bathroom is wall to wall hair. I've saved some of it to take with my to show the doctor on Weds. I think it maybe significant that it's falling out in clumps and not just a few hairs at a time. It is safe for me to say that I have never experienced anything like this in my entire life. What will I do if it doesn't grow back in? Wigs? They will be nice and cool, won't they! And so attractive!!
The sky was a beautiful shade of blue this morning and Hogback was clearly visible. I'm reading a book now, written my William Christopher and his wife Barbara, written about their younger son who is autistic. (He played the priest in the TV version of M*A*S*H*.) It's a change in reading material for me but I've found the book really interesting. It's amazing what they all went through and I'm anxious to find out how well the program worked on their son, Ned. He had to learn to crawl all over again and crawl everywhere he went. Weird program but it's the only help they'd been offered that seemed to help Ned at all. Every seven minutes that had to put a small bag over Ned's face to increase the carbon dioxide content in his blood. Can you imagine having to do that every seven minutes during your child's day?? Their love for Ned is so evident. They worked tirelessly trying to help him. I'm to the point in the book where things are beginning to turn toward his favor. I don't know if the improvements are going to turn out to be anything lasting. But it's been a good read so far. I checked it out yesterday at church. Also checked out a few other books that I may or may not read. I check them out and then bring them home and read a little of each one to see if it's going to be interesting. I also checked out a work of fiction, which I don't normally read but I may give this one a good trial. I didn't have a lot of free time to spend looking over the books really well. I bring them home for that. It's not unusual for me to check out 5 or 6 books and take back 4 or 5 of them, unread, the next time I go back to church. It's the way I used to do my clothes shopping. Buy and take home the things that looked interesting and make up my mind once I get home and then take back the clothes that didn't impress me. It meant two trips to the store but I can't really try anything on when I'm shopping. Now I rarely buy anything so it's not a big deal to me any more. Guess this will be it for now. I really didn't have anything to write about in the first place. Something you've figured out on your own if you've read this far. Tomorrow will finish up my Wiersby study in Romans. Then I guess I'll get into my Phil. and Col. study. Take care...
Friday, August 1, 2008
A Fruitful Life
You and I have been made with a powerful longing to know that our presence in this world matters. God also created us to find the fulfillment of that desire through His Son. We were created with a need that can only be met in Jesus Christ, His Son.
Our dependence on Him is absolutely central to the abundant life Christ spoken of at John 10:10. Trusting Him with all our hearts means turning over to Him the controls to our relationships, jobs, families, finances, and everything else that comprises our lives. Proverbs 3:5-7 emphasizes how necessary our trust is to a fruitful life: we are warned about being wise in our own eyes and twice cautioned not to lean upon our own understanding. When we are faced with the need to make decisions, it is tempting to gather up all the information we can and then from that choose the answer that we think is best. However, no matter how much information we gather, it is impossible to know all the facts or to predict with absolute certainty how others will respond. But our heavenly Father is omniscient. He knows all. He perceives our every thought and reads our hearts (Chron 28:9). Nothing about our lives escapes His attention (Ps 11:4), and He cares for everyone. That's why He alone is certain which decision we should make to be the best for the circumstances we are dealing with.
The abundant life mentioned earlier also includes acknowledging the Lord in everything we do. Talking about Him is just a small part of what it means to give Him the recognition He deserves. As His children, we are to have a likeness to our heavenly Father, in our thoughts, attitudes, and actions. His priorities must be reflected in our priorities, and our plans must fit with His purposes.
Our lives become fruitful as we surrender ourselves and yield our wills to God and carry out His plans for our lives. By allowing His Holy Spirit to live through us (Gal 2:20), we will find our lives characterized by satisfaction, purpose, and significance.
********
I didn't set the alarm last night before going to bed so I ended up over sleeping. It felt really good to sleep until I woke up on my own this morning but I'm getting a late start to my day. I learned a lesson though: it doesn't pay to hurry through your quiet time. I will feel 'cheated' all day. It's like starting off the day on the wrong foot. It didn't help that my beloved was already out on the deck when I went out, Bible and devotionals in hand. So I had to sit and visit with him for awhile before I could have my quiet time. It did, though, give me the chance to fully wake up and greet the day. Our air is clear and the weather's very nice. I think it will be a bit warmer today than yesterday. They said on the news last night that it should be a little cooler today but both of us feel like it's going to be warmer instead.
Tomorrow is our big shopping day. (Which is why I let myself sleep in this morning.) We'll be getting up about 6:30 and getting out of here by 7:00 or 7:15, hopefully, so we can get it all done and over with before the stores start to get crowded. I wish I could just kick back, relax, and enjoy shopping; but I can't. Very simply put: I hate shopping! But then, if you've been reading my blog for very long, you already know that because I complain about it every month. I've talked M into taking the car tomorrow instead of the bus. The fuel pump on the bus is making a noise that scares me. I'm afraid it's going to go out and leave us stranded some place. But then I worry about my car too. Sometimes when you turn the key nothing happens. You have to try a few times before it will "ignite." We have had more problems with the ignition on that car. Maybe we won't have to put up with it much longer. It's looking like maybe in October we'll be trading cars for the Toyota. It will be nice to have a car that is dependable. My car has surely paid for itself over and over again but I think it's time to upgrade. I'd like to have a car that would allow us to feel comfortable driving down to Stockton once or twice a year if we wanted to. Now if this ignition problem will just hold out until we can get the other car. The Toyota will be a step down from the Cadillac but it will be a better car in the long run. Or at least that's what we all think. I worry but I know I need to just turn it all over to the Lord and allow Him to work in our lives; for better or for worse.
I can't remember if I posted about this before but I'm going to go ahead and do it again (if I have, I apologize) because it's such a neat verse. I'm talking about a Scripture in Jeremiah 29. I think most of us are familiar with 29:11, that God has a plan for us, a plan to prosper us and not to harm us, plans to give us hope and a future. Are you familiar with that verse? It's one of my very favorite verses. But, let your eyes drift down a couple verses to verse 13 and read that gem. "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Isn't that great? God not only has a great future for us, but He's made Himself accessible to us. If we seek God ... with all our hearts we will find Him. He doesn't hide Himself from us, making it impossible for us to find Him when we need Him. He's right there if we seek Him with all our hearts. Two great promises of God just two verses apart. Remember that verse. It shows how much the Lord wants us to find Him. We mustn't ever think that we have to search for God as if He's hiding from us. No, God makes Himself available to us any time day or night. All we have to do is seek Him with all our hearts. God is so good!
I need to run out to take care of some errands in a little while. I need to go to the Post Office, pharmacy, bank, and some other place that has stubbornly hidden itself within the deep reaches of my brain. I know I thought of 4 places I needed to go when I thought about it earlier but now I can only come up with three.
I think my head is better. I noticed it yesterday afternoon. It just doesn't feel as tight as it usually does. I went to a luncheon yesterday at a friend's house and a group of friends prayed for my scalp infection and almost immediately I felt a little relief. As I said, it doesn't feel as tight. It doesn't feel so much like a swimming cap is on my head. More like a scarf tied snugly around my head. And it feels like there's a little more air getting to my scalp. It isn't completely gone by any stretch of the imagination. It just feels better. And I do so hope my hair grows back; I've lost so much. There's no way to hide my scalp from view. It's just hanging out there for the world to see. I guess God will do whatever it takes to keep me humble, ha! But, really it has been a humbling experience. It's difficult to be full of yourself when you lose most of your hair. But I could have had chemo and lost all of my hair so what am I complaining about?
The luncheon yesterday was lots of fun. There must have been a good 20 of us there, maybe more. We visited in the living room and then had a devotional and a couple prayers and then split up to go to our tables. I chose to sit outside with about 6 or 7 other women from our church. I ended up siting beside the pastor's wife and she's the one who prayed for my scalp condition as soon as she heard me say I had a problem. In our prayer time before lunch we prayed for each others' needs but I was too chicken to speak up at that time. This is just a tad embarrassing! Anyway, back to lunch. There were chips on the table when we sat down. Then a platter of sandwiches (tuna with cashew nuts on croissants) was passed around. Then came cantaloupe and iced tea. And then the salad of all salads came out to us. It was a killer salad. The best salad I've ever eaten by far. It was absolutely delicious! Spring greens with red onions, walnuts, avocado, and strawberries. The tangy sweet dressing was to die for. It was out of this world. The only bad thing was the plastic fork make it hard to eat. The salad kept falling off my fork. I can't imagine ever having a salad that tastes any better than that. Maybe not even one that is ever as good as it was. Then we had our choice of homemade cookies and lemon bars. Everything was just too good to even try to describe, though I have tried. I wanted so much to bring home some of that salad for Michael. He would have loved it. But I didn't have the courage to ask. We don't eat enough salads. We used to eat them all the time. But I've gotten tired of the dressings. I like Ranch, I'm just tired of having it all the time. And I'm tired of Caesar and Italian. I like Balsamic vinegar dressings but M's not crazy about them. Have you noticed how expensive prepared salad dressings are in the stores?!! I can't believe how expensive they are. Even if you just buy the mix and make it yourself you end up spending a fortune. Like with the Ranch. By time you mix it with a cup of mayonnaise and milk you've spent up to $3.00 on it. I need to buy Raspberry vinegar again. I've made some really good dressings using the Raspberry vinegar. And I do prefer a sweet dressing. Anyway, lunch was a terrific affair and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. There were some women there that I didn't know. I'm sure they go to my church but there are so many people who sit behind me that I just don't know. I met a couple of them yesterday and we exchanged pleasantries but I promptly forgot their names. Someone told me once that if you'll turn right around and use that person's name talking back to them, it's easier to remember new names. For instance, if her name was Alice, turn right around and say, "It's nice to meet you, Alice." And I try to remember to do that because it does seem to help but I was too nervous to do that yesterday. I don't do well in groups. I'm way too self-conscious. I always feel like I don't fit in.
I have not done well with my blogs this week and I apologize. I've just seemed to be a little off my game. I think it's that I've been just so upset over this scalp business. But whatever the cause, I hope you will accept my apologies. I do need to finish this up and get to those errands before it gets any later. I did get my bed linens changed this morning so it will be nice to slip between the clean sheets tonight. I actually had forgotten to make the bed before I started this blog. But I thought about it and went in to make it and just decided to go ahead and change the sheets before going back to working on this blog. See, and you didn't even miss me while I was doing that. You didn't even know I'd gone away, did you? I just happened to think. This is communion Sunday coming up. Which means that I'll have to get up earlier than usual. Of course now that half my hair is gone it only takes half the time to dry it so I won't have to get up quite as early. Anyway, with an apology and a promise to try and do better next week, I'm going to sign off for today. So until next time...
Our dependence on Him is absolutely central to the abundant life Christ spoken of at John 10:10. Trusting Him with all our hearts means turning over to Him the controls to our relationships, jobs, families, finances, and everything else that comprises our lives. Proverbs 3:5-7 emphasizes how necessary our trust is to a fruitful life: we are warned about being wise in our own eyes and twice cautioned not to lean upon our own understanding. When we are faced with the need to make decisions, it is tempting to gather up all the information we can and then from that choose the answer that we think is best. However, no matter how much information we gather, it is impossible to know all the facts or to predict with absolute certainty how others will respond. But our heavenly Father is omniscient. He knows all. He perceives our every thought and reads our hearts (Chron 28:9). Nothing about our lives escapes His attention (Ps 11:4), and He cares for everyone. That's why He alone is certain which decision we should make to be the best for the circumstances we are dealing with.
The abundant life mentioned earlier also includes acknowledging the Lord in everything we do. Talking about Him is just a small part of what it means to give Him the recognition He deserves. As His children, we are to have a likeness to our heavenly Father, in our thoughts, attitudes, and actions. His priorities must be reflected in our priorities, and our plans must fit with His purposes.
Our lives become fruitful as we surrender ourselves and yield our wills to God and carry out His plans for our lives. By allowing His Holy Spirit to live through us (Gal 2:20), we will find our lives characterized by satisfaction, purpose, and significance.
********
I didn't set the alarm last night before going to bed so I ended up over sleeping. It felt really good to sleep until I woke up on my own this morning but I'm getting a late start to my day. I learned a lesson though: it doesn't pay to hurry through your quiet time. I will feel 'cheated' all day. It's like starting off the day on the wrong foot. It didn't help that my beloved was already out on the deck when I went out, Bible and devotionals in hand. So I had to sit and visit with him for awhile before I could have my quiet time. It did, though, give me the chance to fully wake up and greet the day. Our air is clear and the weather's very nice. I think it will be a bit warmer today than yesterday. They said on the news last night that it should be a little cooler today but both of us feel like it's going to be warmer instead.
Tomorrow is our big shopping day. (Which is why I let myself sleep in this morning.) We'll be getting up about 6:30 and getting out of here by 7:00 or 7:15, hopefully, so we can get it all done and over with before the stores start to get crowded. I wish I could just kick back, relax, and enjoy shopping; but I can't. Very simply put: I hate shopping! But then, if you've been reading my blog for very long, you already know that because I complain about it every month. I've talked M into taking the car tomorrow instead of the bus. The fuel pump on the bus is making a noise that scares me. I'm afraid it's going to go out and leave us stranded some place. But then I worry about my car too. Sometimes when you turn the key nothing happens. You have to try a few times before it will "ignite." We have had more problems with the ignition on that car. Maybe we won't have to put up with it much longer. It's looking like maybe in October we'll be trading cars for the Toyota. It will be nice to have a car that is dependable. My car has surely paid for itself over and over again but I think it's time to upgrade. I'd like to have a car that would allow us to feel comfortable driving down to Stockton once or twice a year if we wanted to. Now if this ignition problem will just hold out until we can get the other car. The Toyota will be a step down from the Cadillac but it will be a better car in the long run. Or at least that's what we all think. I worry but I know I need to just turn it all over to the Lord and allow Him to work in our lives; for better or for worse.
I can't remember if I posted about this before but I'm going to go ahead and do it again (if I have, I apologize) because it's such a neat verse. I'm talking about a Scripture in Jeremiah 29. I think most of us are familiar with 29:11, that God has a plan for us, a plan to prosper us and not to harm us, plans to give us hope and a future. Are you familiar with that verse? It's one of my very favorite verses. But, let your eyes drift down a couple verses to verse 13 and read that gem. "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Isn't that great? God not only has a great future for us, but He's made Himself accessible to us. If we seek God ... with all our hearts we will find Him. He doesn't hide Himself from us, making it impossible for us to find Him when we need Him. He's right there if we seek Him with all our hearts. Two great promises of God just two verses apart. Remember that verse. It shows how much the Lord wants us to find Him. We mustn't ever think that we have to search for God as if He's hiding from us. No, God makes Himself available to us any time day or night. All we have to do is seek Him with all our hearts. God is so good!
I need to run out to take care of some errands in a little while. I need to go to the Post Office, pharmacy, bank, and some other place that has stubbornly hidden itself within the deep reaches of my brain. I know I thought of 4 places I needed to go when I thought about it earlier but now I can only come up with three.
I think my head is better. I noticed it yesterday afternoon. It just doesn't feel as tight as it usually does. I went to a luncheon yesterday at a friend's house and a group of friends prayed for my scalp infection and almost immediately I felt a little relief. As I said, it doesn't feel as tight. It doesn't feel so much like a swimming cap is on my head. More like a scarf tied snugly around my head. And it feels like there's a little more air getting to my scalp. It isn't completely gone by any stretch of the imagination. It just feels better. And I do so hope my hair grows back; I've lost so much. There's no way to hide my scalp from view. It's just hanging out there for the world to see. I guess God will do whatever it takes to keep me humble, ha! But, really it has been a humbling experience. It's difficult to be full of yourself when you lose most of your hair. But I could have had chemo and lost all of my hair so what am I complaining about?
The luncheon yesterday was lots of fun. There must have been a good 20 of us there, maybe more. We visited in the living room and then had a devotional and a couple prayers and then split up to go to our tables. I chose to sit outside with about 6 or 7 other women from our church. I ended up siting beside the pastor's wife and she's the one who prayed for my scalp condition as soon as she heard me say I had a problem. In our prayer time before lunch we prayed for each others' needs but I was too chicken to speak up at that time. This is just a tad embarrassing! Anyway, back to lunch. There were chips on the table when we sat down. Then a platter of sandwiches (tuna with cashew nuts on croissants) was passed around. Then came cantaloupe and iced tea. And then the salad of all salads came out to us. It was a killer salad. The best salad I've ever eaten by far. It was absolutely delicious! Spring greens with red onions, walnuts, avocado, and strawberries. The tangy sweet dressing was to die for. It was out of this world. The only bad thing was the plastic fork make it hard to eat. The salad kept falling off my fork. I can't imagine ever having a salad that tastes any better than that. Maybe not even one that is ever as good as it was. Then we had our choice of homemade cookies and lemon bars. Everything was just too good to even try to describe, though I have tried. I wanted so much to bring home some of that salad for Michael. He would have loved it. But I didn't have the courage to ask. We don't eat enough salads. We used to eat them all the time. But I've gotten tired of the dressings. I like Ranch, I'm just tired of having it all the time. And I'm tired of Caesar and Italian. I like Balsamic vinegar dressings but M's not crazy about them. Have you noticed how expensive prepared salad dressings are in the stores?!! I can't believe how expensive they are. Even if you just buy the mix and make it yourself you end up spending a fortune. Like with the Ranch. By time you mix it with a cup of mayonnaise and milk you've spent up to $3.00 on it. I need to buy Raspberry vinegar again. I've made some really good dressings using the Raspberry vinegar. And I do prefer a sweet dressing. Anyway, lunch was a terrific affair and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. There were some women there that I didn't know. I'm sure they go to my church but there are so many people who sit behind me that I just don't know. I met a couple of them yesterday and we exchanged pleasantries but I promptly forgot their names. Someone told me once that if you'll turn right around and use that person's name talking back to them, it's easier to remember new names. For instance, if her name was Alice, turn right around and say, "It's nice to meet you, Alice." And I try to remember to do that because it does seem to help but I was too nervous to do that yesterday. I don't do well in groups. I'm way too self-conscious. I always feel like I don't fit in.
I have not done well with my blogs this week and I apologize. I've just seemed to be a little off my game. I think it's that I've been just so upset over this scalp business. But whatever the cause, I hope you will accept my apologies. I do need to finish this up and get to those errands before it gets any later. I did get my bed linens changed this morning so it will be nice to slip between the clean sheets tonight. I actually had forgotten to make the bed before I started this blog. But I thought about it and went in to make it and just decided to go ahead and change the sheets before going back to working on this blog. See, and you didn't even miss me while I was doing that. You didn't even know I'd gone away, did you? I just happened to think. This is communion Sunday coming up. Which means that I'll have to get up earlier than usual. Of course now that half my hair is gone it only takes half the time to dry it so I won't have to get up quite as early. Anyway, with an apology and a promise to try and do better next week, I'm going to sign off for today. So until next time...
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